


The Dark of the Sun

by HeRell_77



Series: Wild Magic [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Action & Romance, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Animal Traits, Animal Transformation, Animalistic, Anti-Hero, Betrayal, Bisexual Male Character, Bondage, Breeding, Child Soldiers, Complete, Consensual Sex, Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, Fantasy, Gay Male Character, Kinky, Knotting, LGBTQ Character of Color, Light BDSM, M/M, Magic, Male Character of Color, No mpreg, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Past Brainwashing, Past Child Abuse, Post-Betrayal, Rough Sex, Royalty, Self-Esteem Issues, Smut, Sort Of, Soul Bond, not really but sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2019-10-23 00:25:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 43,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17672918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeRell_77/pseuds/HeRell_77
Summary: After a brutal betrayal, Cain of Akar, child soldier, the Bain of Notting, and wild magic mage, swore to never give another power over him, especially his heart. And since that vow to the gods, he’s never been tempted...Until now.





	1. Prologue: Betrayal

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! Welcome if you’re new, welcome back if you’re coming here from By the Light of the Moon. Just a few things—
> 
> If you’re new, no worries. While there may be some spoilers for BTLOTM, you can most definitely read this story as a stand-alone. No need to read BTLOTM. 
> 
> The trigger warnings are definitely different from BTLOTM and include physical child abuse (not sexual), graphic depictions of violence (I don’t hold back so I can be kinda gruesome), and sort of child brainwashing (in the past). Please read at your discretion. Definitely 18+
> 
> Oh also I’m kinda kinky, so obviously explicit sex scenes between two consenting adults is ahead and Cain’s a freak ;P I’ll add tags as I add sex acts... ⁄ ⁄ ⁄ ⁄ ω ⁄ ⁄ ⁄ ⁄
> 
> Oh, last thing: as always with my stories, this is romance with explicit sex scenes. Not PWP.

CAIN, One Year Ago— 

It wasn’t as if I had never felt this agony of physical pain. No, this was nothing new. My body surrounded by cooling blood, my left leg bent at an odd angle, my right ripped open. These things, these kinds of injuries even, were nothing new. I had been fighting in battles since I was a child; the scars on my body were as numbered as the stars. 

Feeling as if I wanted to tear out my own throat to stop the anguish in my heart? That. That was new. 

Kile had cut both thighs at the femoral artery, knowing that loss of blood would slow me down the most. Would kill me the fastest. 

Of course, if I was human, I likely wouldn’t have lived past the first being cut. But he knew that. And he knew how to take me down. 

Because I had taught him. 

I could remember the night I did it— the warmth of his body surrounding me, his thick thighs still quivering as he pulled away from my heaving, sweating body. I flinched as his cock pulled out of my twitching hole, my own prick still hard and unsatisfied, but by then I was used to that. I turned to him and smiled gently as I watched him move. 

I was content. Happy, even. His spend drying on my thighs, I watched as he cleaned himself before tossing the rag down to me so I could do the same. He hated touching his own cum, mine even more so. Not that I had come that time, but when I did it disgusted him and I was sure to clean my own up quickly before he got upset by it. 

And then he was back on top of me, our conversation from before he had tackled me and fucked me into his furs starting up again as if he hadn’t interrupted me midsentence. 

“And that’s the only way?” Kile whispered, his gruff voice drawing shivers down my spine. His nose dug into my inner thigh, licking at the thick artery beneath the skin, as if testing its strength. 

Gods, how stupid I had been. I had only wanted to protect him, show him how to take on a wild magic mage if he ever came across one in battle. 

I hadn’t realized I was placing myself right in the palms of his hands. 

“Not the only way,” I had answered, my fingers shifting through his sharp beard. “But the best one. You have to cause enough damage, quickly enough that they don’t just heal past it. Once they’ve lost enough blood, even the wild magic can’t keep them alive. That or some types of poisons directly into the blood, never ingested, are your best bet.”

I was yanked back to the present, back to staring up at the bluest sky I’d ever seen. The sun beat down on me, making me want to crawl under the shade of the trees not ten feet ahead of me. But movement was impossible. 

My body was giving in, just as he had planned. 

Dear gods, as he had likely been planning for months. I had taught him _months_ ago how to take down a wild magic mage. 

Gods, I prayed I was wrong. But deep down, where my soul was being shredded with each pump of blood into the grass beneath me, I knew I was right. He had planned this. He hadn’t known how much of a fight I would put up, or that he would end up leaving me for dead rather than risk taking my pelt back to the men who would pay him for it. But it had always been in the back of his mind. 

Each time he kissed me. With every time our bodies joined among his furs. Each time I fought by his side, killing his enemies. He knew. He knew he would betray me. 

My chest heaved as my heart skipped a beat, and I wanted to laugh at the absurdity of my situation. Body broken, bleeding, _dying_ , and I was more pained by my lover’s betrayal. 

It was only then, a laugh on my own tongue, that I heard the first sounds of men coming towards me. Two men, chuckling, joking, and from the sounds of the brush they were disturbing, jostling each other as they walked. 

And then they were silent, above me, one swearing as the other began issuing him orders. 

“Fuck, Nibs. Get his legs, I got his torso. It’s a wonder he’s not dead. Kid, do ya hear me? We’re gonna get ya home, and you’ll be alright.”

“Don’t lie to him, Dasan. He ain’t gonna survive this,” the other whispered, but I was unable to answer or protest as they chose that moment to pull me up, and darkness took me as the searing agony that thrummed through my veins became too much to bear.


	2. Welcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riece is cruelly rejected by an annoyed Cain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I forgot to update last week... sorry T_T

Riece, Present—

My first sight of him was breathtaking. Not because he was a particularly handsome man, but from the sheer _presence_ he exuded. Strength. Pride. Power. Savage passion contained by an iron will. It all oozed from him as if it soaked from his pores. 

His face was just a bit too harsh to be handsome, his cheekbones sharp, his frown plastered and unmoving, his eyes looking cut from stone. But gods those eyes. Slate gray, but with streaks of gold interspersed in their depths. I was caught by them the moment my stallion trotted into the castle in the Teren capital. Caught and held and… I’m unsure if I’ve been able to really look away since. 

His skin was a dark mahogany, pure and smooth, and he was covered in battle scars. His hands, neck, wrists— every bit of him that I could see had various sword and burn scars. Coupled with the slant of his eyes, the size of his body, — at least a head taller than any of the men around him— his bulk, I guessed he was Akaran immediately. And was proven right when he spoke with just the slightest accent. 

As he rejected me without consideration. 

The kiss had been spur of the moment, the act of a man who was desperate for any physical touch that didn’t come with strings attached, because those thin, firm lips were just asking to be sucked, bitten. I leapt from my horse, right at the gorgeous man’s feet, and pushed my lips to his. On the tips of my toes, because he was just a bit taller than I. Although with my skinny form, he outweighed me by 50 pounds at least.

For those few seconds he stood, stunned at my brazen forwardness, his lips had felt softer beneath mine than I would have thought. The heat that poured from the touch of our skin burned through me, rolling in waves down my spine. Until I was all but thrown off my feet by the force of his disgust as he shoved me back.

I stared up at him, trying to control my breathing so I could play off the rejection as if it wasn’t making me want to crawl into a ball and hide somewhere dark and quiet. My breath hitched and I stepped back, barely withholding a heavy flinch when the man wiped his hand across his mouth before spitting at my feet. 

"Such a spoil-sport, Akaran," I jested, my eyes roving his body as seductively as I could with the hurt constricting my chest. "This is a time of love and beauty. Let me love your body, beauty."

The man’s fists clenched, his eyes everywhere but meeting my own. He gritted out, “No thank you,” before staring off at something behind my back.

I laughed loudly to hide the sting of his easy rejection. Not that it wasn’t something I was used to— rejection. Deny the Emperor of the 7 Realms? Never. Deny Riece? Always. Everyone. 

“I’ll change your mind, beautiful Akaran,” I said, quieter than I had meant it to come out, no confidence in my words even to my own ears. “Mark my words.”

I brushed my own thoughts and feelings aside as I moved to where Lhiam and his fiance waited. I introduced myself to Lhiam’s small fiancé with his bright eyes and unsure smile. Lhiam had told me little of his fiance. He was young— and now that I stood before him, I could see he looked even younger than Lhiam had said he was— had not a bit of noble blood, had a traumatic past, of which Lhiam spoke not at all, and had my old friend totally and completely smitten. 

I had known Lhiam since we were children, forced to socialize while our fathers droned on in pointless political meetings. The ones I was now forced to attend on a depressingly regular basis. He had been one of many noble children brought to the palace to befriend me, in the hopes that the children would have the strong political connection of being friends with the Emperor in the future. 

Only Lhiam seemed completely ignorant of my royal status. While all of the other children seemed to have been tutored on how to treat me as if I was made of glass, the first time I met Lhiam, he shoved me in the mud when he announced I was “It,” dirtying my robes and completely drenching me. I sat in shock for almost a full minute, simply staring at my ruined clothes, before bursting into laughter and chasing after Lhiam. I eventually tackled him, causing us both to receive a scolding about our lack of propriety, but the way we laughed as we wrestled, the way he treated me as I had seen the children treat each other… It was worth any trouble I got into every time he visited.

To this day, he was the man who knew me better than any other. Maybe the only person in existence whom I could truly say I never had to hide behind my Emperor mask with. I had always known he was only attracted to men, and for a while, maybe I’d had a picture in my head of trying to make him my own… But after the war, when he came back, just a bit quieter, a few lines around his eyes that weren’t laugh lines, wanting the quiet of his little farming kingdom to help escape the bloody images now forever in his mind….

I couldn't expect someone like him, who had endured so much, to spend his life maneuvering the political machinations of my court. Always in danger, always the point of contention with any trying to seek my favor. Never able to trust anyone, or come out from behind my shadow. No, he would live the rest of his life in peace in his home, or I would die trying to get that for him. 

Being with me wasn’t worth everything else any partner I chose may have to deal with. I wasn’t worth it. 

Suffice it to say, I moved on from my little crush on Lhiam. So much so that when I received his letter, about finding his soul mate in his cousin’s guard, there was only a tinge of hurt, and just a smattering of disappointment. Gone now at the sight of the beautiful man who had caught my friend’s heart. 

“Welcome, Riece!” Lhiam called, his eyes dancing with mirth. Oh, I wouldn’t hear the end of his witness of my rejected advances. “Meet my fiancé, Edon. Edon, this is Riece ver Sirweio Dendiy… and lots of other names. I forget.”

“Gods, so do I,” I joked, rolling my eyes and smiling down at the young, slightly fragile-looking boy who clutched Lhiam’s fist like a lifeline. “Call me Riece, please, little Edon. It’s an honor to meet the man who finally tied Lhiam down. I was beginning to worry he had impotence problems, but I’m sure you can attest to the invalidity of my concern...?”

I almost choked on my laughter as the boy’s amber eyes widened until I feared they would fall out of his head. He stuttered a few times, his voice quiet but husky as if with disuse. So he was either getting over a sickness, had recently had Lhiam’s cock shoved down his throat, or he was naturally a quiet man whose voice cracked regularly with disuse.

I wondered if it was maybe a mix of two of the options. 

“Stop it, Riece,” Lhiam grumbled, reaching over and tugging Edon closer to him, his arm around his shoulders. “He’s not used to you yet. Don’t tease him.”

“My apologies, little prince-consort. I forget sometimes that only I find myself funny. Forgive me?”

Edon ducked his head in a parody of a nod before turning and digging his head against Lhiam’s chest. 

“He’s precious, Lhiam,” I whispered, seeing a blush rise up Edon’s almost delicate neck at my words. “You’re a lucky man.”

“Your support means a lot to me, Riece,” Lhiam replied, and I chuckled as the boy pulled away enough to nod and thank me before ducking his head again. 

“It’s freely and happily given.”

“And please, help me convince Edon we’re not going to be beheaded for not inviting the other princes. He wanted our wedding quiet, and I knew if we invited the princes, they would bring their wives and servants, cooks, valets…”

I laughed, nodding in agreement. “Their mistresses, their mistresses’ servants,” I continued the list, making Lhiam chuckle and roll his eyes. Edon finally looked back up and met my eyes. Gods he was a shy one, wasn’t he? Pulling both of his hands into mine, I lowered my voice to try to reassure and calm him. “I assure you, prince-consort, if I’m here then I’m the emissary for the empire, and you need no other. Some will take offense, but that’s the world of simpering nobles, insufferable politicians, and spoiled women, and something you just shrug off. Someone’s always offended by something. We can’t revolve ourselves around that. It would be insanity.”

Finally, Edon smiled, and I felt a small twinge of accomplishment. 

“Now,” I continued, pulling Edon’s arm so his elbow twined with mine and began to lead him back into the castle. “I’m told there’s food. So unless someone’s been lying to me, which would be very unkind because I’m starving to near death, let’s eat!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3<3


	3. A Good Place to Live

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lady Sera and Cain are friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the lack of updates. I suck.

Cain—

Watching the Emperor flirt with Edon made me want to spit at his feet again. The poor kid was flustered, and while he was usually shy and quiet, seeing him near silent and so unsure made me want to slap the man who was so obviously enjoying teasing him. But I refrained, and before long they were gone. I followed at a distance for a while, but soon branched off when Edon was safe in the front dining hall. I wasn’t technically working, but I had been curious about the newcomers, and now regretted that immediately. 

Especially because the man’s taste still clung to my lips and it took all of my willpower not to lick them. 

Because the fucker had kissed me. Without even a “by your leave.”

I wanted to be angrier, to be as furious as I knew I should be. But the man was far too stunning for me to be angry at tasting him. His eyes a bright, sparkling hazel with only a few streaks of brown to break up the green, full lips just begging to be teased with my teeth, and a thin, sinewy body that was just sturdy enough he wouldn’t break from a hard, stiff fucking. His golden red hair hung in a thick braid down his back, adorned with little golden bells and diamonds, and much of his skin was bare due to the thin, nearly translucent robes he wore. 

Gods, he was sex on two legs. I wanted to bend him over the nearest surface I could, witnesses and all, and shut him up. Show him how much better his mouth would be put to use with my prick shoved to the hilt, wetting it to open his tight hole up easier. 

But of course that was all fantasy. Because if a man like him stooped to bedding someone like me, it would be just that: a hard fuck and then goodbye. 

It wasn’t as if I wanted more than that. I couldn’t have more than that. Never again. Not that I ever really had more than that… but even the glance I’d been given into what I desired so much had broken me.

And made me vow to every named and unnamed god that I would never again let another in my heart. 

I had made those vows as I lay in Dasan and Nibley’s cozy, one room cabin in the forest outside of the castle, my body broken and dying, my mind distorted, and my soul shredded. I’d stupidly given everything, body, heart and soul, to a man who had used me, then tried to take my life for the measly pittance he would receive from selling the pelt of a wild mage. 

Since then I had never given even a bit of myself to anyone. I kept all at arm's-length, to keep myself safe, and I had lived just fine that way. 

I couldn’t even give in to the obvious purely sexual offers from the Emperor. Because I had sworn not to give even my body to another. 

I would never break that vow. 

When I reached the edge of the keep, my nose raised to the midday air, I was startled out of my reveries by the sultry, airy voice of one of the only people I could stand being around for more than a few minutes at a time. She had told me many times she considered me a friend, but I didn’t allow myself friends, so I had stayed quiet each time she declared that, hoping she never noticed my lack of reply. 

Lady Sera’s soft, angular face was surrounded by natural sun-streaked brown hair, hanging down her back in thick waves. Her emerald green dress tightened around her thin waist, and somehow accentuated her small chest, hiding the lack of curves she had there. She was only a few inches shorter than me, but I outweighed her by at least a hundred pounds. She was all thin curves and feminine sparkles. 

I was told her sense of style set the pace for many women in the kingdom. Each time I saw her, she wore a new dress, a new headpiece or some necklace or another that seemed as if it was made for her thin, elegant neck alone. I wasn’t a man who paid attention to things like women’s fashion, but even someone like me could tell she was well dressed and wore her fashion as if that was what she was born to do. 

Shortly after meeting me, Lady Sera had asked me if I could ever be attracted to her, ever fall for her. I could see she was worried for my answer, and I feared she had garnered some kind of feelings for me. My answer was gentle but firm, and I hoped as I spoke it wouldn’t hurt her too badly. 

“I prefer the sexual and romantic company of men, my lady. You are beautiful, but you’re not a man.”

The woman was unique, because she set off my senses as no other ever had. Her body smelled male, but her soul, her mind— my beast assured me those were female. As I had with most of the people in Lhiam’s keep—a place of misfits if there had ever been one— I simply accepted her as unique and moved on.

My answer, rather than hurting her, had seemed to calm her, and since then she had regularly sought me out, despite our difference in status. She as a noblewoman, me as a keep guard with a history as a mercenary and outlaw. 

Prince Lhiam surrounded himself with some strange people. He himself was marrying an orphan who was a former slave, a man who moonlighted as a lupine, and his council now housed a 14-year-old girl, a noblewoman who kept company with former outlaws (yours truly), and two men who had been married years before it was ever thought to be socially acceptable. 

It was a good place to live— the best I ever had. It was becoming more like home every day I stayed. 

Which set off alarms in my mind that put me on edge. 

But I ignored the ringing bells, as I had been doing more and more often lately, as I turned to Lady Sera and managed a gruff greeting, trying to keep my lips from tingling as my memory flashed back to full, hot lips and just a taste of tongue. 

“Cain! Glad I caught you,” Lady Sera called out, her skirts pulled up just enough she could walk gracefully to stand at my side. Her voice, as always, was soft, alluring somehow. Despite my lack of sexual attraction to the woman, even I noticed how attractive she was— to men and women alike. I wasn’t the only one who had noticed Princess Lacy’s recent obsession with being anywhere Lady Sera was. “I hear your afternoon was… interesting.”

“Did you need something, my lady?” I asked, feigning boredom as I stared out at the forest below the keep. I had so been wanting to run free, if only for a few hours. My beast was restless. More so now than he usually was. 

But for some reason, he was clawing to get back into the keep, rather than to the forest where he could run free. 

“As tight lipped as ever, Cain. Gods, if I ever heard more than 10 words from your lips, I’d be worried the end was nigh.”

I sighed but didn’t give her a reply. She wasn’t looking for one, and she had long ago learned that I didn’t give them regularly. 

“He’s a very beautiful man, Cain. I thought you were interested in men? How could you possibly—“

“Not interested,” I bit out, trying to unclench my teeth before I broke one. 

Because I’d never really been a very efficient liar. 

“Alright, alright, don’t claw me,” she muttered, rolling her eyes as she leaned back against the keep wall to study me. I allowed the perusal, knowing I wasn’t much to look at. 

Too big. Too scarred. Too dark skinned. Too gruff. 

I was always just too much. 

So she could look all she wanted. I wouldn’t hide myself. 

“I wish you wouldn’t do that,” she finally whispered, her voice quiet, so quiet I wouldn’t have heard her if I didn’t have enhanced hearing from my beast. “It hurts, you know?”

I turned to her, my eyebrow raised in question. She studied my expression for a moment before shaking her head and shrugging. 

“I like you, Cain. You’re one of the only men I’m… comfortable being myself around. One of the only people I feel safe with. And it hurts that I sometimes feel as if I’m friends with a brick wall. You know me, know my secrets… few don’t, with the way the gossips talk. But I know so little about you. I just wish…”

She trailed off, her arms coming up to clutch each other around her thin chest. 

“I’m sorry,” I gritted out, my own arms coming up to cross at my chest. An almost defensive gesture I allowed myself. “It’s not… it’s not you, my lady.”

“I know,” she agreed, nodding and shrugging before meeting my eyes and smiling. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m emotional today. I’m unsure why— call it womanly hysterics. I didn’t mean to push you or distress you; I know you’ve been hurt in the past.”

If it was possible, I stiffened even further, my body posed as if Lady Sera had threatened me. Maybe it was time for me to move on, as I had been fearing for a few weeks now. For almost a year, I’d been able to live here in relative peace, no one really noticing me. I made sure of it. But now, one by one, the people of this place were digging themselves inside me.

And it wasn’t something I could allow them, or myself. 

Lady Sera studied me and laughed aloud before pushing herself off the wall. “Down, boy. I’ll go. Thank you for listening to me. Believe it or not, I’m actually a little less excitable than I was.”

“Good night, my lady,” I answered with a nod.


	4. The Answer is No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3<3

Cain—

I never did make it out to run that night… or for the next week. Mostly because I spent the next few days trying desperately to avoid the Emperor. 

It was as if he was everywhere I turned. I left the gate soon after Lady Sera had left me there alone, only to find him watching me from the window of his sleeping quarters, four stories up. His eyes lit up with amusement and gentle affection as he waved cheerily, but I ignored him and moved out through the gate without a backwards glance.

I wouldn’t be pulled in by a man like that. Not even for the sexual release I knew he could provide. 

It had been more than a year since I had vowed my celibacy to any gods who would hear me, and never before had I been so tempted to break that vow. I wanted nothing more than to run up the four flights of stairs and tackle the Emperor to his plush beds. Show him how a wild mage lost control. 

But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. 

In the few days since his arrival, the man seemed to have some kind of foresight as to where I would be at any given time. Although I doubted he would need a crystal ball. The inhabitants of the castle seemed to find it amusing to send the man after me, no matter how I tried to hide. 

Especially Robert and Dasan, although the prince wasn’t much better. Though he was at least distracted by his upcoming wedding and Edon’s coronation. Dasan seemed to make it his mission to keep track of me just so he could report back to the Emperor. 

The first time he managed to catch me was the morning after his arrival. I was practicing against a straw dummy in the west courtyard— the training yards. I had removed my shirt as my sweat soaked it, and my feet were bare so I could feel the pulse of the earth beneath me. 

His whistle was piercing and had me jumping and turning to him in a fighting crouch. 

How had I not heard or smelled him coming? 

My beast began to purr in my chest and I growled aloud, frustrated at his contentment and lack of warning. He all but licked his chops as I looked the Emperor up and down, my prick twitching as I caught sight of his pink nipples through the translucent shirt he wore. 

“May I help you, Your Majesty?” I asked, wanting to roll my eyes as he chuckled and moved almost fluidly into the courtyard. 

It was only then I realized we were alone. 

Where were his guards? If they were under my command, they’d be strung up for leaving him to wander alone. He was completely vulnerable, and from the lack of muscles on his sinewy frame, and lack of weapons, it didn’t look as if he could protect himself against any threat, no matter how minuscule. 

“So, so many ways I wish I could answer that question, beautiful. But I’d love your name?”

His sensual, throaty voice sent shivers down my spine. It wasn’t until he was just in front of me that I realized he was actually an inch or so taller than me. 

“Cain,” I answered, and it took everything in me not to take a step back as he pressed his chest up against mine, his hand coming up to flicker against my throat, the other resting against my hip. 

“Cain,” he replied, reciting my name with sex in his voice. I wanted to close my eyes, savor the sound, taste the hot breaths against my lips as he leaned forward, but I held his gaze and frowned sternly. “It’s lovely to meet you, Cain. My name is Riece. None of this ‘Your Majesty’ nonsense, please. It makes me feel very… royal. And stuffy.”

I gritted my teeth as his hand on my hip began making soft circles against my skin, gently tugging at the waistband of my leggings every few passes. His fingers on my skin were like brands. 

It took everything in me not to pull him closer, press my hardening cock against his abdomen, and devour his mouth with my own. Instead, I grabbed both his wrists in ironclad grips and pulled his seeking fingers from my skin. 

“I said no before, Your Majesty. The answer hasn’t changed with the exchange of names. I’m not interested in what you’re offering.”

The Emperor’s smile was almost guileless as he twisted his hands in my grip. Not to pull away from me, but to intertwine our fingers. The feeling of his fingers clutching my skin had my pulse racing dangerously fast. 

“You are attracted to me. I know you are. So why do you say no, beautiful Cain? I’d make sure you were very… satisfied.”

 _I’m sure you would_ , I wanted to growl, shoving out the anger and heated jealousy that burned through me like a wildfire at the thought of how many men he had thrown himself at like this. I was just one in a long line of many. I knew it. The Emperor was known for his sexual exploits— with men and women. He had 3 children by 3 different women, for the gods’ sake. 

My beast liked the thought even less than I did. 

_Mine_ , he growled. He demanded I claim the man, mark him as my own, scent him so others would know to whom he belonged. 

But he could never be mine. And I was better than my beast. I was a man. I would never again be led around by the cock as I had for so long. I was still healing my soul from the last time I had thought a man was mine. 

_But your beast never claimed Kile_ , the sensible part of my brain whispered. _He never declared him as his own._

I shook my head, pulling back and stepping out of the Emperor’s reach before prying my fingers loose. 

“The answer is no,” I hissed, before turning on my heel and leaving him in the training yard.


	5. What the Cat Dragged In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****I know it's short :( I'm working on that— it's kind of a bad habit of mine, these damn short chapters. But I'm more aware of it, so hopefully I can lengthen the dang things :):) *****

Cain— 

I spent the rest of the day all but hiding behind Nibley, who was the only man who seemed to sympathize with my need to keep myself away from the Emperor. I helped him inventory the armory, and we spent the day in silence except for a few muttered words during lunch. Which was exactly why I liked Nibley so much— the man knew how to stay quiet.

Knowing the Emperor would be in the keep banquet hall, I made my way to Dasan and Nibley's cottage, only a few miles outside the keep, to spend the night among the only two men who knew almost each and every dark secret of my past.

Dasan greeted me at the door with a quiet smile before stepping out of the doorway so I could enter past him.

"Nibs, we got a visitor," Dasan called, ducking back into the small, one-bedroom cottage. It was warm, Nibley cooking over the open hearth fire. "Look what the cat dragged in."

Nibley looked up and laughed aloud as I snorted and rolled my eyes.

"You know, it's still not funny no matter how many times you say it," I grumbled as I took a seat at their small table. I watched as Dasan moved up behind Nibley, setting a gentle kiss to the other man's neck, before pulling away and turning back to me.

"Tea?" he asked. I nodded, and before long I was warm, relaxed, and bloated with the dinner Nibley had all but shoved down my throat. As I stared into the softly glowing hearthfire, listening to Nibley and Dasan discuss the upcoming wedding, I wondered how much longer I would allow myself to stay in this place that was so dangerous for my vows. For the safety of my heart and soul.

That night, I dreamt of Kile for the first time in months. I dreamt of our first time together, the passion I had felt from him, the way he made my entire body sing, and my heart feel as if it would jump out of my throat at any moment. How he made me feel cherished, respected, loved. 

And then, as they inevitably did, my dreams turned to those last moments with him, his blade sinking into my flesh, rather than the touch of the lover I had been expecting. He had spread my legs, his eyes meeting mine seductively, and I had thought... For the first time in our years-long relationship, I had thought he was going to put his mouth on my prick. 

Oh gods, how wrong I had been. 

The blood flowed around me, hot, silky, sticky. And then he was gone, and I could breathe. 

I took in deep, agonized breaths, staring around me, trying to gather my wits, and froze completely at the sight that met my eyes.

The Emperor lay with his head resting back against a cougar almost twice his size. The beast purred so loudly, I could hear it even from the distance I was. But the moment it opened its eyes and glanced up at me, meeting my gaze with a feral gleam in the haunting depths of its eyes, I knew it was the beast in my soul.

It was me.


	6. Royal Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riece gets wasted :)

Cain— 

The wedding came up on me faster than I would have liked. The preparations for it kept everyone in the keep busy, even though Edon tried his damndest to be as small and undemanding as possible. For the most part, he directed all of the wedding inquiries to Lhiam. 

Walking Edon down the aisle to Lhiam was a surreal experience. We had become as close as I was to anyone since I had spoken aloud my suspicions that Edon was from my own home land Akar. I hadn't been home since I was taken forcefully as a child, but I had recognized the wild magic in him, and the tiny bit of accent he sometimes let slip. His skin was light enough I could tell he had other blood running through his veins, but the wolf in his soul was most definitely Akaran. 

I had spent hours telling him about wild mages, the lore, what I remembered from the teachings of my fathers, who were both wild mages. I even told him some of the more fanciful lore told by my mother— about the legend of a wild mage's soul mate, and how their beast was drawn to that mate's soul. 

Or mates, as the case may be. I was Akaran, after all. Who was I to say there could only be one? I myself was born to three parents. This seemed to frazzle the poor wolf, so I kept the idea of polyamory a vague thing in the stories I told. 

The wolf looked stunning in dark satins and silks, and the way the prince watched him, his eyes heavy and almost haunted... My kinsman would live a happy life being gazed upon like that. And I would ignore forever the way it made my heart ache and my own eyes seek out the bright red hair and sparkling, laughing emerald eyes I had begun to search for in dreams. 

The man's scent was even now in my nostrils, held by my hungry beast. 

Each time I was forced to interact with the man, my plans to leave Lhiam's keep behind me became more and more solid. Because if there was ever a man to convince me to break my vows, it would be the Emperor. 

During the reception after the wedding, I danced with Edon, Princess Lacy, and Lady Sera. Sera was her usual charming, warm self, remarking on my grace in dancing—  where had I learned to dance?— the beauty of the wedding, and the obvious love of the couple. Edon was all but silent, his hands shaking against my skin, his touch light, his embarrassment apparent. But his new cousin was anything but embarrassed or hesitant. She spent the entire dance scolding me for my relationship with Lady Sera. According to her, I was being a calloused asshole, refusing to see how Sera cared for me, leading on a woman who was in love. 

"You don't deserve her," she bit out as she stepped back at the end of the dance. She glared up at me for a moment more before turning on her heel and storming out through the south entrance to the large banquet rooms. I would have been almost amused, if I didn't see the concerned, frustrated look in Prince Lhiam's eyes as he followed his cousin.

I refused to reply, or defend myself, choosing not to involve myself in whatever was going on with the prince's heir. 

Riece—

The man was like smoke. Each time I closed my fists, thinking I had him at last, I'd open them to celebrate my victory and he would be gone. 

He dominated my dreams; his hard, much larger body tormenting me until I woke on the verge of orgasm, covered in sweat and crying out for something I couldn't even name. 

I had never felt anything like the pull I felt towards him. It was sexual, fuck, yes it was. But it was... more than that. 

It was a desire for possession, to be possessed. A hunger for his body completely devouring my own. His scent on mine, his essence on my tongue, his breaths in my ears and his heart beating beside mine. It was obsession and passion and languishing turmoil. It was arousal past sanity. 

I didn't just desire him. 

I craved him. 

The ferocity of the feelings terrified me. But that fear didn't stop me from trying over and over again. 

And it didn't stop me from being rejected time and again, sometimes rather violently. The poor man really seemed to hate me. 

And that hurt. 

More than it should have. 

I was used to being hated. Many of the princes and nobles in my empire hated me. I had freed slaves, outlawed slavery, set up laws against sexual intercourse with people under the age of 16, set in place safeguards against forced marriages, ended many wars that had been started by my predecessors, and even passed a law about same sex marriages. That last had been nothing but selfish. I was attracted to both men and women, which the three women who had given birth to my heirs could attest to, but sexually I was much more attracted to men. So I set in place a safeguard in case I ever found a man who aroused more than my body. 

My empire was prospering. But there were still some— slave owners, old nobles set in their ways, some religious factions— who hated the work I had been doing since I was crowned at the tender age of 14. Now, 18 years later, I continued to force peace and fairness on those who would take advantage of others. 

So I was no stranger to hatred. But Cain's particular brand of hatred and disgust somehow hit me harder than it should have. After the first time he rejected me, gods even after the second time, I should have shrugged it off and left him alone. 

But I couldn't. I just... couldn't. So I kept trying. And failing. 

The third time was at the wedding. Through the entire ceremony, I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Broad shouldered, bigger than most around him, he held Edon's much smaller hand against his arm with such gentless and affection I could feel my eyes pricking. He handed him off to Lhiam before moving off to stand to the side. I couldn't even look away when his eyes met mine and he frowned, his eyes darkening with annoyance. 

Gods, I was like a thorn in the poor man's side. 

During the party after the wedding, while I danced with various nobles and others who asked— I never turned down a dance partner, that was just rude— Cain danced with only 3 people. The 3 who dared approach him to ask. 

One was Edon, who blushed hotly the entire time, his much smaller body looking like a child next to the thick, dark man who held him like he was glass. 

Then Lhiam's cousin and heir Lacy approached him and without a word, dragged him onto the dance floor. She looked almost angry as she did it, and the stoic way he held her showed his discomfort as she seemed to spend the entire dance scolding him. 

Last was a beautiful woman I knew by name but had never met: Lady Sera of Ruleden, heir to Lord Spencer, Duke of Ruleden in Teren. 

The way he held Lady Sera in his arms was... different. He held her gently, but not like she would break at any moment like he did Edon and Princess Lacy. And there was no discomfort as there had been with Lacy. In fact, he seemed to melt a little as Lady Sera held his shoulder in her thin, delicate fingers and stared up at him with affection and warmth. I could see her lips moving, smiling, even laughing a few times. Cain answered, one word every few moments, but it was more than I had seen him express with anyone else. 

The sight had me gripping my goblet of wine so tightly in my fist the gold dug into the fleshy part of my palm painfully. I ignored it, furious I had allowed my horrible infatuation to continue. 

He was obviously taken, and they looked beautiful together. 

But why hadn't he said that? It was only four words— I belong to another— and I would never have sought him out again. Instead, he had kept his lips sealed and simply denied me, drawing up my blood and making me want him even more. 

The way he danced with her, holding her close, his eyes even sparkling with amusement, although his lips remained a stoic line as always, was with obvious affection and attraction. 

And I was ashamed at wanting to stomp over to them, rip them apart, and growl mine against his lips. 

But I couldn't do that. So instead, I raised my wine glass, wished them well silently, and proceeded to drink as much of Lhiam's cache of wine as I could.


	7. Kitten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hold me. I'm so cold. Always... always so cold. And alone. Always cold and alone. I don't want to be alone anymore, Cain."

Cain—

"Lady Sera is beautiful," a voice slurred directly into my ear. I rolled my eyes as his body pressed against my back heavily, as if he had lost his footing. I could smell the wine on his breath, could almost taste it in the air around him, and I wasn't surprised when I turned in my chair to glare up into the very glassy eyes of the Emperor. 

"No," I growled, my beast so close to the surface I could hear him in my own voice. And I could tell the Emperor could too, for he stumbled back and plopped his ass onto a chair across from me. 

I sat at one of the tables in the banquet hall, one of only a few remaining wedding guests. I had wanted to wait until Edon and the prince left to take my leave, but once they had I'd begun to notice the Emperor's increasing inebriation and stayed. 

Because my beast demanded it no matter how much my rational mind rebelled. 

"Excuse me?" the Emperor hiccuped, his hand on his chest, looking very much the offended lady. 

"She's not for you. Find someone else to warm your bed for the night."

The idea of the Emperor with Lady Sera had my hackles raised and my beast growling in my chest so loudly it slipped past my lips. 

I couldn't tell which— Lady Sera or the Emperor— the growl was directed at. 

The flash of emotions that played across the Emperor's face had my breath catching. The tear that slipped down his cheek was like a flashing alarm for my beast. He bit and clawed, trying to escape; forcing my body forward, leaning so close to the man I could feel his hot, tear-scented breaths on my skin. 

"You think very..." he hiccuped, swaying, before continuing, "very little of me, don't you, Cain?"

I stayed silent, watching him, unsure how to move forward. He was crying? He had been flirting with me, playing with someone much lower in status because it could never be serious. And now he was crying?

Why?

"I wasn't asking for myself, but for you. I was congratla-congrach- _congratulating_ ," he managed on the third try, "you on your sweetheart. Nothing more. She's... she's beautiful."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. He wasn't the first to assume, and although Lady Sera had told me multiple times it didn't bother her, I knew it couldn't be good for her reputation for so many to think she was slumming with a castle guard. 

"She's not mine. I'm not hers."

My words were simple and clear, brokering no confusion, but the look in the Emperor's eyes was all uncertainty and doubt.

"She looked very comfortable in your arms. And you seemed... calm in hers."

"Calm?" I choked out. When was I not calm?

"Relaxed? Not so on edge? Safe?" he listed off, drawing his wine goblet up to his lips before seeming to realize it was empty as he set it down with a frown. "Need more wine."

His voice was no more than a whine, but I shook my head. 

Gods, nobles could be a handful. 

"I think you've had enough, Your Majesty. Would you like me to escort you to your bedchambers?"

"Gods yes," he moaned as he slumped toward me and licked his lips silkily. 

"To put you to bed _alone_ , Your Majesty, because it's my job to ensure the safety of the castle's occupants and the prince's guests. The answer to your advances is still no."

He frowned, but the teasing glint was back in his eyes, the tears and sulking seemingly forgotten. 

"That's too bad. I'm even more flexible when I'm drunk."

The shiver that dripped down my spine drew goose flesh on my neck and arms. 

I shook off the picture in my head— the Emperor, bent in half as I pounded into him, his body twisted under and around me, as flexible as he had claimed— and stood. I held my hand out to him, waiting patiently as he studied me. 

"Thank you, kitten," he murmured, taking my hand. 

It took everything in me to keep a hold on his hand and not drop it like a hot coal. Because at the nickname, my beast sat up and roared, and it took all of my concentration to keep the damn cat from pouncing through my skin and tackling the Emperor, marking him, claiming him, devouring him. 

_Mine!_ he roared, his claws fully exposed and digging into the earth beneath him, his tail flicking in furious rage at my reluctance. My human emotions angering him. _Mine! Claim! Mate! Mark! Claim! Mine!_

My beast continued screeching in my very soul, rending his claws against my concentration, as I propped the Emperor up and made my way through the halls to his bedchamber. Again, his guards seemed to be missing, and I wondered if they were just terrible at their job, or if he ordered them to leave him to his own devices. 

The fuck that would continue if I was the one in charge of his safety. If I was someone with less morals, or even just a little more greed, the Emperor was completely helpless in my arms. I could rob him, kidnap him for ransom, rape him. There was nothing he could do to stop me. 

Mine! my beast hissed at the idea of any others touching him, hurting him, claiming him. 

_Shut up! He's not mine! He never can be!_ I yelled, flinching at the heat in my chest. The closer the Emperor pressed to me, the harder it was to fight my beast back. 

_Mine!_ he screamed back almost mindlessly. 

By the time I reached the Emperor's rooms, I was exhausted physically and mentally, my thighs quivering as I kicked the doors open and dragged the taller but much smaller man across the threshold. 

He mumbled something, but even I couldn't hear it. I threw him atop the bed, not bothering to pull the blankets back, before turning away. I was stopped with thin, nimble fingers digging into my wrist. 

"Stay. We don't have to... have to fuck," he whispered, his voice almost silent as his eyes drifted open and closed as he visibly fought to stay conscious. When his eyes were open, they seared into me as if seeing straight through me. "But stay. Hold me. I'm so cold. Always... always so cold. And alone. Always cold and alone. I don't want to be alone anymore, Cain."

My body, soul, and heart moved inexorably towards the bed, reaching out to the visibly pained man who writhed on the bed for me. The man who was so much more, had so much more depth than I had seen before. 

But my mind, scarred more than my skin, broken by betrayal and barely healed from that agony, drove my body backwards almost violently until I hit the wall next the door with a painful jolt. 

"I can't," I snarled, twisting to push through the door and out of the Emperor's rooms.


	8. Hungover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****hello, hello :):) Just a little fun tidbit of randomness: I discovered Cain and Riece's theme song. Love it so much, and there's just something about it that reminds me of them. So listen to Lovely by Khalid and Billie Eilish and you're welcome for that bit of ear candy*****

Riece—

I woke to the worst hangover I had experienced in a long time, my body freezing from lack of blankets in the cold dawn air, and my mind flashing with horrible memories. Because of course the wine couldn't erase my embarrassing actions and even more humiliating confession the night before. And to the man who hated me so much he warned me away from his friend who he clearly had feelings for. 

It took three cleanings to get my mouth to not taste like I ate a dead animal, and a 30-minute bath before my body stopped shaking enough I could stand and dress. By the time I was decent, although still flinching at every noise and light and movement, it was time for breakfast in Lhiam's rooms. He had invited me and a few others to a post wedding breakfast in the dining room in his and Edon's personal suite, and I was almost late. 

I stepped into the rooms, closing my eyes involuntarily against the bright light from the many open windows around the chambers. At a table set to the side of the room sat Princess Lacy, Lhiam's advisor Tate, and a few other men I had met over the last few days. Nibley and Dasan, close to both Lhiam and Edon, Robert, one of the castle guards, Lhiam and Edon, and Cain. Although Cain actually stood to the side, his stance stiff, staring out at the forest beyond the keep through the open window. 

Although all of the laughter and conversation stopped when I entered the room, I could tell before I did that Edon was being treated to a merciless teasing. The small man's entire face and neck were blood red, he was biting his lip, and his eyes danced with mortification and amusement. 

"Riece! Welcome!" Lhiam called, the only one comfortable enough with me to speak to me. At his greeting, Cain's entire body, at attention before, stiffened and jerked, his fists clenching, his jaw so tight I could see, with the view I had of his profile, the veins and tendons all but popping at the force be exerted. 

"I hear you quite enjoyed yourself last night. Maybe a little too much!" Lhiam finished with a laugh, standing to clap his hand on my shoulder. I laughed, falling into my usual ruse— carefree and looking for a laugh. 

"I did. Your wine is— hmm," I moaned, rolling my eyes up as if in sexual ecstasy, and Lhiam laughed and scoffed. 

"Yes, you nearly drank an entire year by yourself, you selfish asshole."

 _Alone_ , I wanted to cry in answer. _Yes, I drank it all alone. Completely surrounded, but alone. Always. Forever._

Instead, I laughed. Just as he expected me to. I shrugged, as if sheepish, and then winked at Edon, who still seemed almost confused by me. Unsure how to act. 

Without my say so, my eyes flickered to Cain, who was still as stiff as he had been, but who was now watching me, his eyes bright with searching. As if he had somehow seen the words my mind had screamed. Had wanted my mouth to scream. 

"But I hope I wasn't the only one who _enjoyed_ myself last night?" I prodded as Lhiam led me to a seat beside him. "It was your wedding night, after all. Hopefully you didn't sleep until dawn, dear Edon. If even then, if Lhiam's doing things right."

Edon choked on the bite he had just put into his mouth and Lhiam chuckled, his hand rubbing against the smaller's man's back. 

And I was not envious of that small touch. That little bit of affection so freely and openly shared. 

I _wasn't_. 

"Stop it, Riece," Lhiam said semi-sternly. "He's not used to... you."

I flinched inwardly at the words— Lhiam was possibly my closest friend, and not even he could see past the outer mask I showed to the world most of the time— but forced a flirtatious smile and met Edon's eyes. 

"I apologize, Your Highness. I'm rather hungover, so you must, of course, excuse anything I may say in this state."

"Oh!" Edon exclaimed quietly, and I began to wonder if the man ever talked louder than a whisper. "I was a little, too, when I first woke. Cain had a sort of tea remedy— I feel better already. Cain, could you—"

"I ran out of the herbs with yours, Your Highness," Cain grumbled, before turning on his heel and bowing. "If you'll excuse me, breakfast was delicious, but I have to get to work."

"You're not scheduled to wo—" Robert began, only to be glared down by Cain. The big man bowed again, then he was gone, leaving a deep, empty silence in his wake.

And a deep, empty, clenching pain in my chest as all eyes fell on me. 

"Gods that man is walking, talking sex," I drawled, forcing a choked laugh from Edon and a genuine one from Lhiam. But Lhiam's eyes stayed studying me, even as an awkward conversation started between Dasan and Robert regarding some groups of mercenaries that had passed through the area recently.


	9. In the Dark Beside Your Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to extra upload Friday. Enjoy, ya’ll :):)

Riece—

"Cain! Please wait! I know you fucking despise me, but gods above, slow the fuck down!"

Like the pathetic, lovelorn man I was becoming, I heaved in a few breaths as Cain finally ground to a halt and, refusing to turn to face me, clenched his fists and waited. I could tell he wanted to demand I tell him who kept informing me of his location, but I wouldn't give up the information. Because then he might kill him, and then how would I track him down?

After breakfast, I had returned to my bedchambers to dress for Edon's coronation as prince-consort. The ceremony went smoothly, and it was quick, leaving me the rest of the morning to seek out the one man I couldn't figure out. The one man who seemed to see through my facade— and yet hated me even more for what he saw underneath. 

"Gods, if you weren't so pretty..." I muttered, gripping my knees and catching my breath. 

"Did you need something, Your Majesty?"

"I wanted to..." I paused, wishing he would at least turn to look at me, but knowing I would have to work with what I was given. "I wanted to apologize. For my unsightly behavior last night."

Cain turned to look over at me, his face stoic, empty, but his eyes showing the emotion he tried to hide— concern and confusion. 

I pushed past that, unable to fight with my pounding heart over the stupidity of throwing myself at his feet. Again. 

"And I thank you for being a gentleman. Many would have taken advantage of the situation I put myself in, in one way or another. Not only did you see me safely to my room, and leave me be without harm, but you didn't gossip about the indecent way that I acted. And for that I thank you. You're a good man, Cain."

I bowed slightly before turning and freezing at the snort I heard behind me. 

"That's it?" Cain muttered, looking me up and down as if I was going to jump out with a knife and attack him at any moment. "No sexual innuendos? No groping me? No wandering hands? No lewd jokes?"

I scoffed and tried to pull up my mask, but his words had managed to cut deeper than I could have predicted, and the prick of tears completed the humiliation I had begun with my heartfelt pleading the night before. 

My begging him to stay. Just to hold me so I wouldn't be alone. Because the gods only knew how many I had fucked, or who I let fuck me, just so I would have a warm body beside me for a few hours. 

"I guess not. A hungover Emperor isn't exactly a horny Emperor. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a nap and—"

"Come." Cain glowered, turning and taking a few steps. When I simply froze and stared at him, he seemed to realize I wasn't following, because he turned back around and glared over at me. "C'mon. Follow me."

Without another word, he turned and began moving again. And like a lost puppy, I followed him. 

He wove his way through the halls of the keep with brisk steps, and even my long legs were hard-put to keep up with him. But I managed it, my eyes on his tight, hard, swaying ass the entire time— I may be humiliated by my recent shows of vulnerability, but the man was still sex on legs and I'm a weak, weak man. 

He led me into the kitchens, empty but for a large woman near the hearth who looked up from the novel in her hands at our arrival, but then ignored us completely. 

Cain moved around the kitchen as if he did it every day, pulling down a teapot, filling it with water from a nearby barrel and setting it up in the hearth before gathering herbs that were drying above the windows. 

"You don't have to do this," I protested, and was completely ignored. So instead of uselessly talking to the brick wall that was Cain, as I always seemed to do, I sat on a stool at the counter, laid my head on my arms, and closed my eyes. 

Cain—

He was asleep. The damn frustrating, confusing, infuriating man had protested once to my making him an herbal remedy for his hangover, then plopped himself down, and now breathed softly, steadily, a lock of golden red hair moving against his cheek with each breath. 

I ignored him as much as I could before the tea was done and I had to wake him. 

"Your Majesty," I called a few times, to little avail. He sniffled, his nose twitching, but otherwise he didn't wake. I finally moved to him, my hand on his shoulder to shake him a bit. Then he jerked, almost falling down off the stool before he caught himself and glared up at me sleepily. 

"Couldn't'a let me sleep off this damn headache, could you have?" he all but growled. 

My lip twitched with amusement, but I kept my face blank and tapped the tea down in front of him before sitting in the stool across from him. 

"Drink the entire cup. You'll feel better. May still need a nap."

"Good gods. Call someone else as a witness. You just said more than 5 words! It's got to be some kind of record!"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at his snappy sarcasm, pointing at the tea cup. 

"Drink."

The Emperor didn't resist rolling his eyes as he reached for the cup and lifted it to his lips. 

"Hot," I warned, earning another eye roll as the Emperor blew on the tea before tipping it to take a sip. 

"Ugh," he groaned, his face screwed up in disgust. "It tastes like ass. And not in a good way."

I didn't manage to hold back the eye roll that time. Or the scoff of annoyance. "Drink it," I ordered simply. 

"So bossy. You know, I'm the Emperor of the seven kingdoms of Wer'ren. You should really be more polite. Less ordering me about."

I snorted, and the smile that rose to his lips was worth the annoyance I felt at myself for showing him my amusement. 

"See. You're not inhuman. You think I'm funny sometimes."

"Once. One time you were mildly amusing."

"You do know how to hurt a guy's ego, kitten," he replied mockingly, but the way he held the teacup up, as if to use it to cover his face, hide the hurt in his eyes, told me I truly was hurting him. 

That same guilt and self hatred I had felt a few times before when dealing with the Emperor— last night when he had all but begged me to platonically hold him while he slept, that morning when I saw his mask slip just a bit and I knew I had to escape or I might step in and pull the man up against my chest just to get that damn cornered, pained look out of his eyes, when he thanked me and apologized just a few minutes before. That feeling that pushed me to reach out, pull him to me, reassure him he wasn't alone. That I was his. Would protect him. Keep him safe. Be there for him— for the real Riece he hid from the world. That Riece would be mine alone. 

"I don't hate you, by the way," I admitted reluctantly, to keep from everything else I wanted to say and do. "You said it, before. But I don't."

The Emperor was silent for so long, I was forced to look up at him. Just to make sure he was still there. 

He was watching me, his fingers shaking just a bit against the teacup and saucer as he brought it to his lips then set it down again. His face was guarded, his eyes bright with confusion and longing. 

I probably should have let him keep thinking that way. Then maybe he would give up, and I would no longer be tempted. But that hurt, kicked puppy look haunted me into speaking the words I should have kept inside. 

I didn't want to hurt him. Just keep him at arm's-length. Everyone else seemed comfortable there. So why couldn't he be?

"You don't?" he asked guardedly as he took another sip. I shrugged and picked at the counter. 

"I think you're misguided in your attraction to me. I don't want you. Not like that. So if you'd stop all that nonsense, you're sort of tolerable."

"Tolerable?" he repeated, a bit of amusement slipping through as he glared over the teacup at me. 

I shrugged again and met his eyes. "You're lookin' for something I can't give you. You need to stop settling for quick fucks and find a man who won't chafe at being in the dark beside your sun. Who will protect you, cherish you, appreciate you for the man you are rather than the crown you wear. And you'll find him, but he definitely ain't me. I'm just another of those one-night fucks you need to start turnin' down."


	10. Oil and Water

Riece—

Cain's words were like a spear in the gut, and I barely managed to excuse myself and reach my room before I broke and became a sobbing mess. 

How had a man I'd barely known 3 days seen straight through to my soul, and knew exactly what words would tear into me so deeply? How did he see me, my desires, my pains, so clearly?

The only thing he'd gotten wrong was his belief that he was just another of the quick fucks. 

As pathetic and obsessed as it made me sound, he was the closest I'd come to that perfect man he'd described. Because I knew he would do everything he had stated— cherish me, protect me, love me for me— if he could stand to even tolerate me. 

I avoided Cain like the plague for the next 3 days until I left for Sywer Palace— home. I spent my time getting to know Edon— a truly stunning, heartfelt man— and roaming the quiet, peaceful countryside that was such a divergence from my own home. 

And then by a twist of some merciless god, Lhiam sent Dasan and Cain as extra guards to escort me back home. Lhiam always complained I never travelled with enough guards, so every time I visited, he sent me home with at least two of his own men. 

So I was forced to spend another 24 hours in Cain's presence. Luckily, we seemed to have come to the same conclusion: we were like oil and water. So he avoided me, I did him the same courtesy, and in that way I reached the palace in one piece. 

With most of my dignity still intact. 

Dasan and Cain left me and my men at the palace gates, turning back around immediately for home. And if I watched their retreating forms for far longer than I should have... that was between me and my five guards. All of whom were loyal to me and wouldn't spread the gossip. 

At least that was what I hoped.


	11. Two Months

Riece— 

I stayed away for almost two months before I couldn't anymore.


	12. Wild Magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****Thanks for reading! Enjoy :) *****

Cain— 

Something I said struck a nerve, and for the rest of his time in Teren, the Emperor avoided me with just as much vehemence as I avoided him. 

I had wanted to keep him from hurting, to take that pained look out of his eyes. And I had succeeded. In a way. Instead of hurt, his entire face closed off, completely expressionless. He politely, with a gentle, almost doll-like smile excused himself, and then I only saw him in glimpses and in passing. He greeted me politely if we met when others were near, ignored me if no one was around, and I was grateful. 

And absurdly furious at the same time. 

After dropping the Emperor and his men off at Sywer Palace, I begged off from Dasan and spent the next week in the forest between Teren and Sywer Palace in my cougar form. I hunted, avoided humans, and kept my mind as blank as I could. My cat refused to go outside of a few meters of the palace, but I forced the issue when I knew it was time to go home. 

For the next few weeks, I was content to burrow deeper into myself to keep my beast at bay and the people in my life ignorant to the storm in my breast. 

Then _he_ was back, and the storm was a hurricane. And no amount of hurt in his eyes, pain in his countenance, could keep back my biting words and bitter withdrawal and rejections. I could tell I hurt him each time, but I just couldn't... He had to give up. And if hurting him was the only way?

Then gods help me, I would stomp on his heart as much as I needed in order to protect my own. 

When he left again after only a few days visiting Lhiam, although the entire castle was abuzz with the gossip that he wasn't really here to see Lhiam, the relief was palpable. He had managed to corner me only thrice, and each time I was quick to push him away, deny him. And yet each time, he came back again, more determined than ever. 

The man was stubborn as a mule and didn't know the meaning of the word no. 

Then he was back again a few months later, then a few weeks after that, and before long it was simply a regular occurrence for the Emperor to stay a few days and leave with me even more on edge each time. 

Each time, the efforts to get the two of us together bordered on ridiculous. They stopped telling me when the Emperor was expected, because I tried to leave the keep when I learned he was returning for his third trip. And it wasn't uncommon for me to find myself suddenly alone with the Emperor in a room where only moments before there had been a dozen or more others. 

Even his guards were in on his schemes, especially the one called Edgar. He was young, far too young to be the guard to an Emperor, and he was sweet in a way that irritated me. No one who blushed and retreated when I entered a room should have the charge of a man like Riece's safety. I knew that Riece likely kept him around because it was easy to slip past the boy's notice, and that was all he seemed to look for when he hired his personal guards— men who cared so little and were so incompetent that he could be free to go as he would, without any thought to his own safety. 

Both Lhiam and Dasan tried to have a talk with me about the Emperor's affections, which I evaded quite expertly. And Edon never spoke to me anymore except with a heavy, hesitant blush. Each moment he looked as if he wanted to say something, but lost his nerve at the last minute. 

Even Lady Sera tried to insert herself into my sex life— asking me if I had past sexual trauma that kept me from being intimate with the Emperor even though I "so obviously desire him."

In short, the Emperor was upending my entire life for his amusement and lust. The life I had built for myself after a lifetime of struggle and pain and homelessness. Each time he took more of my normality, my safety, my comfort. 

And despite my best efforts, somehow, more and more of myself was lost to him with each visit. 

During one of the Emperor's many visits, maybe his third or fourth, I took it on myself to introduce myself to his guards. There were only 5 usually, though sometimes he would bring a 6th. I figured I may as well bring some use to Riece's visits, and try to talk, or beat, some sense into the men. 

Edgar was too young, barely 16, if that, had little training, and was treated by the others as an air headed younger brother rather than a fellow fighter. Luc and Dean were veterans of the recent war We'ren had waged in the south, but they were also the most apathetic. They were used to the Emperor's antics and had stopped fighting him on safety concerns years ago. 

"He does what he wants, and we do our best to protect him," Luc told me when I asked about their seriously lax protection detail. "But we gave up trying to chase him like a toddler long ago. We let him be, and he's happy with that." 

"He may be happy now, but he won't be when he's dead," I hissed back, feeling the hairs on the back of my head stiffen as I all but growled at the man. I shoved my beast back and shook my head. "It doesn't matter what he wants. He's the Emperor of We'ren. He needs to be protected. He should have a dozen guards accompanying him, and two at all times at his back. And they should be trained to fight for him, not children and apathetic old men.”

Though Luc was angry and offended by my words, Dean seemed to take them in stride.

"Maybe you should try talking to him, then, if you feel so strongly about it. Mayhaps he'll listen to you, kid. The gods know he never listened to us."

Tauren was usually left behind back at the Emperor's palace, and seemed more of a pacifistic animal lover than a guard, and the twins Tedd and Stiles were quiet and hard to read. They were never without the other, and spoke so rarely I wondered if I had actually heard both speak. They were so identical in looks, it was entirely possible I had only heard one ever talk and I didn't even know it. 

I asked politely— demanded— that they all join me each morning they were in the keep, while I and the keep's guards ran through our training exercises. Dean and Luc knew the moves, of course, but they were out of shape and I wondered when the last time they had actually used the swords they carried around their waists was. Edgar was a complete newbie, but he was eager to learn, and humble in his ignorance. It wouldn't take long before he was able to take down those twice his age, because he learned quickly as well. I taught him moves to use his smaller stature and weaker body against larger, stronger opponents, and gave him a bow and arrow rather than a sword— long distance shooting might serve him better than hand-to-hand in most cases.

The boy took to archery like a fish to water. By the time they had left— so with about 5 days of training— he was hitting the center mark more often than any of the other men in the keep. The pride in his gaze as he looked up at me with a huge smile on his face told me he wouldn't shirk practicing his new talent when they returned to the palace. I could tell from that one look that he would likely surprise me even more when he returned, with how far he had advanced. 

Luc and Dean were soon taking down the keep's guards, their bulk and experience nearing even Dasan and Nibley's. Tedd and Stiles surprised me with how proficient they were, and I was glad the Emperor seemed to have hired them for more than their calm silence and easy personalities. They carried various knives, daggers, and small throwing instruments, and hit any mark they were given. But their hand-to-hand took some work to even get them able to take a hit without reaching for a dagger, rather than blocking the blow. 

Tauren was the only one who fought me on the training, once Luc and Dean had gotten over their pride of being ordered around by a man half their age. I could tell he was miserable as a guard, and snuck away often to the stables to assist the stable masters there, or read up in the hay loft. I intended to speak with Riece about him, and demand he put the poor boy to better use in the stables, let him apprentice under the stable masters, and then hire at least 7 more guards to keep him safe. 

It was unconscionable that the Emperor wasn't even half as protected as he should be. And that the man thought so little of his own life as to be a danger to himself. 

If I had any say in his welfare and safety, he would be lucky if I didn't lock him in his palace and never let him leave. Keep him safe, protected, never let any harm come to him while I was around to prevent it. Ensure only the best were there to keep him safe...

But that didn't matter. Because it wasn't my duty, and his safety was none of my concern. 

None of my reasonable, frustrated thoughts at myself kept me from continuing to guard him while he was at the keep, even when he didn't know I was there keeping watch, and ensuring that those who were tasked with his protection were competent in their duties. 

On his fourth visit, about four months after we had first met, the Emperor was noticeably distracted. I had begun to accept that I would be forced to spend time with him, let him touch me, make his lewd jokes and innuendos. I endured it because it was simply easier than trying to fight it. 

And because some part of me, a part growing larger with each touch, each laugh, each teasing press of lips on my skin, loved the attention the Emperor laved on me unrepentantly and unashamedly. My beast purred at his very presence, content to simply be near him. 

But this last visit, he was quiet and spent most of the time in the libraries. With Lacy, of all people. I caught them more than a few times, their heads together, whispering conspiratorially. And each time they saw me, they grew quiet and the Emperor greeted me warmly but too politely. 

Things came to a head when I stumbled upon him, his head bent over a massive tome, and he barely glanced up at me before turning back to the book. 

My annoyance and ire was pricked by his lack of attention. 

I wanted to jump up and down and scream "I'm here! You came to see me! Why are you ignoring me?" but I held myself back. Because that was ridiculous. I didn't want him to visit the way he had been. And if he had lost interest, then that was a good thing. Something to celebrate. 

... Right?

Gods, I was barely convincing myself anymore.

"Good afternoon, Your Majesty," I murmured quietly. I sat down across from him, possibly the first time I had ever willingly put myself beside him alone. 

And he still didn't even glance up, his attention completely captured by that damn book. 

I leaned over, frowning when I saw the title of the book. I snorted and rolled my eyes as relief washed through me. 

So he was still interested in me, just trying a different tact— the book was a complete history of Akar and its lore. 

"I was taken from home when I was a young boy, Your Majesty," I said, finally drawing his gaze as he frowned up at me in dazed confusion. His eyes went from me, down to the book, then back up again before he blushed deeply. 

I had wondered if the man was capable of blushing. 

I supposed I had my answer. 

"No, I'm not... this isn't what it—"

"Besides a bit of an accent and my skin tone, I'm more Teren than anything else at this point."

His blush darkened as he turned to look over my shoulder, then back to his book. 

If ignoring me had been his next plan to seduce me, it had... worked surprisingly well. I wanted his attention. I missed it. Craved it. I wanted to know he hadn't forgotten me. Hadn't lost interest. 

Even though I knew it was inevitable, and it was what should happen, what I needed to happen to stay safe, I didn't want it yet.

"Were you..." He paused, as if afraid to speak his next words. I stayed silent, waiting for him to gather himself. "You said you were taken from home, and I read that Akar is often attacked by slavers—"

"I was taken as a slave in a raid that killed my family, yes. Sold in the south— Redeb'ir Province— as a child soldier. They train them down there, then sell them as mercenaries once they pass certain qualifications."

The Emperor shivered and I stopped. I had wanted his attention, his touches, little kisses to whatever bit of me he could reach, seemingly endless smiles. Not his pity. His censure. His unsure hesitation. 

"But I escaped and I'm here now, so everything's fine."

The Emperor froze, his face completely still for a moment before a dazzling smile broke out across his face. 

"You're ridiculous," he chuckled, rolling his eyes as he leaned back and studied me. "So tell me, Akaran, because I'm fascinated by the mythology of your homeland. Tell me of wild magic and the mages that bear it."

Riece—

After my third trip to Teren, I knew I had to do something else to get Cain to give in and give me— us— a chance. So I began a correspondence with the smartest person I knew— Princess Lacy. She had fountains of knowledge on Akar, recommended a dozen books for me to read to gain some bit knowledge into Cain's past, his culture, maybe a peek inside his mind. 

My studying the books Lacy had gathered for me cut into my time with Cain, but I figured the sacrifice would pay off in the end. 

I was wholly correct, but in a way I never could have imagined. And I hadn't even had to wait very long. For Cain sought me out, and even started up a conversation with no prodding from me. 

He froze at my words when I asked him about wild mages, and I wondered at the strange reaction. But then his face was blank as stone, as always, and he was shrugging nonchalantly. 

"What do you want to know?" 

"Are they real? Have you met one? Do they really look like a normal human, except when they change, or is there some way to tell them apart? Is the magic hereditary, or—"

Cain grunted and held up his hand, efficiently cutting me off without a word. 

Something only he could do. 

"Yes, yes, yes and no there's no mark or anything. The magic is hereditary, the animal isn't."

"What does that mean?"

"If a mother or father is a wild mage, they'll likely pass it to their child. However, if the mother is an owl, and the father is a wolf, that doesn't mean the child will be an owl or a wolf. The animal is specific to the human soul."

"So a mother who was a rabbit could give birth to a fox?"

He nodded in answer and I exhaled heavily. "This all seems... I've met hedge witches, who use the earth and herbs of the earth to heal. But that's... natural magic. This seems unreal somehow."

"What's more natural than primal, animal magic?"

"Gods, I'd love to see one someday," I said dreamily, imagining meeting a creature so amazing as that. So close to their primitive nature as to share their soul with a wild animal. 

Cain's eyes flashed with a strange light, but it disappeared too quickly for me to discern what it had meant. 

"Maybe you will someday," he whispered, his eyes roaming down my face, fixating on my lips

_Gods, you want me, Cain. Why won't you let yourself reach for me?_

I nodded, and moved on, afraid of the way he was now still, watching me as if I was prey. He even licked his lips, his sharp teeth flashing against his full, tan lips. 

"They touch a bit on the mages' mates, but it seems a little convoluted. Are they just their lovers, or is there something mystical about the bond there? It seems to imply that, but the wording is... strange. It's almost as if they're writing about something already understood, but I've read the entire book from the beginning, and there's no chapters missing, or pages. I checked."

Cain snorted, then huffed out a little laugh. "That's likely because even the youngest Akaran is taught of wild mages and their mates. They're basically soul mates, tied at the body, heart, and soul, and the mage's beast claims them as much as the human does. They're the only human able to love the man and the beast as one. Being a wild mage's mate is considered a very high honor in Akar."

"That's beautiful," I whispered, my chest clenching at the romantic legend, and how lucky the mage's and their mates were— to find the one in all the world meant for them. To be theirs, to love them, understand them. 

"It's a pretty fairy tale, sure," Cain scoffed, making me roll my eyes in annoyance. 

"You said you've met a wild mage. How is it a fairy tale, if they're real?"

"Wild mages are very real. The legend of their mates is a fairy tale told to hopeless romantics and women to keep them warm at night. Give them something to believe in." 

"Is that so wrong, to believe in something outside yourself? Something beautiful and pure and greater than yourself?"

Cain looked up at me as though my words had startled him. 

"No, there's nothing wrong with that. It's just not something I can easily empathize with."

"Because you only believe in what you can see, and touch?"

"Exactly. And love? Soul mates? Those are things I can neither see nor touch."


	13. One More Rejection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****I do enjoy my angst, don't I? ;) Enjoy :)*****

Cain— 

The next day, Riece... No, the Emperor dragged me to a picnic in the southern apple orchard. It was one of my favorite places, because with just an hour spent among the trees, the sweet smell of the apples would linger on my skin for days. The Emperor had initially told me he needed a guard, because his own were ill— I smelled a lie, especially since I had seen three of them that morning for our training, but like I had with him frequently lately, I indulged him and didn't point it out. He also told me that we would soon be joined by Edon and Lhiam. 

That also proved to be a lie. 

My begrudging enjoyment of the day surprised me. The Emperor was as lewd, as inappropriate, as handsy as ever. But I had begun to accept that it was just the way he was, and as long as I could endure the teasing without breaking and giving in, which I had now for months, I figured I could indulge him. 

In between jokes about my size, how limber he was, and wondering if Akaran pricks were a strange color and as large as were rumored — gods help me — we actually managed to have a decent conversation. 

Well, he conversed. I listened. I didn't speak much, but I learned more than I had in the last five months combined. 

He was an only child. His mother died while giving birth to him, and his father, the previous Emperor, had been emotionally distant and cold.

"Now that I think on it, you remind me a bit of him," he laughed, but he couldn't hide the underlying truth in his words. 

"I never wanted for anything, of course," he mumbled, plucking at the bit of bread he was tearing apart on his lap. Over and over, he picked the pieces up, ripped them in half, then half again, before letting the crumbs fall on his lap. I hadn't seen him put even a single bite to his mouth. "I had all the best tutors, nursemaids, masters who taught me fencing, various languages, history, even bits of magic— all of them were too afraid to tell my father I had absolutely no talent in the magical arts or scholarly pursuits," he laughed, shaking his head with a bemused sort of smile. "In short, I have no reason to complain about my upbringing. It was perfect. I was very lucky." 

I scoffed and raised an eyebrow, drawing the Emperor's attention and questioning gaze. 

"But?" I asked, taking a sip of the wine Chef had packed for our picnic. Gods, even the keep's servants were being dragged into the Emperor's ridiculous seduction. 

The Emperor's smile was almost serene, but I could see he was holding back as he shook his head, his golden red curls bouncing around his face. The curly locks were pulled back in their customary braid, but some tendrils always tended to break free to frame his face. When he stood in the sunlight, and the light hit him just right, the way his hair flowed around him looked like a halo. 

"I don't know what you mean," he tittered, reaching over to pull my hand to rest on his thigh, as if it belonged there. As if that was how we always sat next to each other. I gave him a moment before pulling away, trying to soften my rejections. I had been harsh with him for weeks, and it had done nothing to deter him, so I figured there was no reason to be cruel. He was going to do what he wanted, and I was just along for the ride at that point. 

I hated that damn look in his eyes when I refused him harshly. It haunted my dreams, turning the nights that I had begun to spend dreaming of his lips, his skin, his hands on me, into nightmares where he cried himself to sleep night after night. 

"You do," I answered simply, and met his eyes until he looked away with a huff and a self-deprecating smile. 

"It's nothing. I will sound like a spoiled child to someone with your childhood, your upbringing. And I'm trying to get you to like me."

"My pain doesn't negate yours, Your Majesty. No one's pain is greater than any other's. Some go through more in their lives, but that doesn't mean that someone who has had different pains is any less hurt. Pain is relative."

"You..." the Emperor began, trailing off as he stared at me with something akin to anguish in his eyes. 

Gods dammit. I had wanted to be kinder. To keep from hurting him. Yet now he looked as bad as I had ever seen him. 

"You... You're— I've never met anyone like you, Cain," he whispered, shuffling closer to me until our knees were pressed together. I went to pull away, but he grabbed my hand, kissing the palm delicately, before pulling away and leaning back. 

The jolt that spread up my spine at the simple touch made my entire body jerk. And I could tell he had noticed. But he didn't take advantage. He sat back just a bit and smiled, still holding my left palm in both of his hands, trailing his fingers along the scars atop the skin. 

"My childhood was picture perfect. But I wasn't allowed to play, was never allowed friends— unless they were approved by my father the Emperor, like Lhiam, and he could only visit so often— I was a prisoner in my own home, since I was the only heir. I grew up... lonely. And then even when I was Emperor, and had a bit more freedom, I..."

He trailed off, staring off at the midday sun with speculating eyes. "A court full of simpering nobles and politicians is hardly the place to find loyal friends. The only one I truly have is Lhiam, and even he—"

He broke off, biting his lip, before shrugging and meeting my eyes again. 

"Even he doesn't really see you," I finished for him.

Riece—

I had thought I had made some progress after my talk with Cain about the Akaran lore of wild mages, but it wasn't long before I was proven wrong when he continued to act exactly the same as he had before. Reluctant, rude, not quite hostile but close enough. Despite that, I couldn't help but think I had made some progress, if only because of the way he had sought me out when I hadn't gone to him. The way he had listened, even prodded me into delving further into discussion when I faltered during the picnic. He had been interested, concerned, listening. I knew he had. 

I had thought I knew he had... 

Then I overheard his conversation with Dasan, and all my optimism died a pathetic, messy death.

During the picnic, I had thought he couldn't dig any deeper inside me, but I was wrong. Little by little, I was breaking. He had to take me, or let me go. Just one more time. If he rejected me again, that was it. I would be done. Because I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't keep my heart on this platter for him anymore, because it was slowly killing me. I could feel it, the anguish deep in my chest, tearing into my soul, making me want to cry out, scream, rage at him to _see me_.

Because I knew he could, if he would just open his eyes and look. Take a chance on something I knew could be incredible.

I nodded at his words, stating so simply the very deepest of my pain about being invisible and screaming in a room full of people, and pulled away. We finished our meal in silence, although I barely ate another bite with the way my stomach had soured. And then Cain was gathering the food, folding the blanket, and I had no choice but to follow him. 

Despite my resolve, I didn't confront him yet. I needed time. Time to figure out the best way to move forward, because I had to lay it all out for him— everything I felt, everything I could offer him. My loyalty, fidelity, devotion. He would live the rest of his life in the greatest luxuries the world could offer. 

But I knew I would also have to list out all of the things he would lose by being with me: freedom; the ability to trust those around him; a life of anonymity. 

It was now or never. If he denied me again, I would leave him be. And it would stick this time because, gods dammit, it hurt too fucking much to be so close to him and not belong to him. 

When we reached the castle walls, Cain sent me off with a look and a grunt, and I made my way to my rooms, intending to begin my preparations for my trip back home while he brought our picnic supplies back to the kitchen. By the time I had made my way into the hall that led to my rooms, however, I realized I had left one of the books Lacy lent to me on the bottom of the basket Chef had packed for us. 

I made my way back through the halls, weary, resolved, and planning my next move, when I stopped just outside the near-silent kitchen, listening intently to the two men who spoke inside. 

"...'s not what I see. He's not Kile, Cain. He obviously wants you, and gods be damned what you say, he wants you more than for a quick romp. Do you really want to be alone your entire life?" 

Dasan's voice was harsh but soothing, as if talking to a spooked horse, and his words immediately had a million questions running through my mind. 

Kile? Had Cain been with someone before who had broken his heart? Was that why he was so reluctant to be with me?

"It's safer that way," Cain mumbled, barely audible. The tense way he spoke, trying to sound stern but nonchalant, made me cringe. This was the way he spoke to me when he found me particularly pushy. 

"Safer. But miserable." I nodded in silent acquiescence to Dasan's words. I would know. I had been alone my entire life, and I had passed miserable years ago. 

"Stay out of it, old man," Cain growled. "My sex life, or lack thereof, is none of your concern."

I raised my eyebrows at the vehemence in Cain's voice, and I could tell Dasan was a little taken aback as well. He sounded hurt, but no less stern and confident in his words when next he spoke. 

"I think of ya like a son, kid. Nibley and I both do. I just want to see ya happy. And the way you are with the Emperor... That's as close to happiness as I've ever seen ya. We saw ya today, sitting so your knees were touching, your hand in his. The way you look at him... It reminds me of the way you once explained Edon's possessiveness of Lhiam— that animal, primal possession. That thing you said was unique to your kind. How could you let that go, when he obviously feels the same?"

Cain scoffed, and the sound was like an ice pick in the heart, dulling my thoughts and making the questions that rose to my mind at Dasan's strange words flutter and die. "He wants to fuck me because I'm a novelty. I'm a living, breathing person who told him no. He's fascinated. If I give in, the shiny excitement will wear off and he'll be gone before the cum dries."

That was it. I had thought one more rejection would break me, but it hadn't even taken another straight rejection. Just those words, spit with such venom I had to slam my palms over my mouth to keep from letting out the tiniest cry. Those words that showed he didn't see through my facade like I had begun to think he did. That he saw me the same way everyone else did— the sleazy, carefree, promiscuous royal who fucked anything that walked and could never have the depth to feel anything beyond the basest, most primitive emotions. 

I could feel tears streaming down my cheeks as I turned on my heel and, Lacy's book be damned, sprinted down the hall.


	14. Safe Word

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****Yay Friday again! I'm going hiking this weekend, so I'm excited for that :) 
> 
> Ok, so kinky sex incoming. I don't know if it needs a trigger warning, because it's consensual, but bondage and rough sex warning, I guess. Nothing too crazy. Also knotting. 
> 
> You're welcome... ? ;-) *****

Cain—

Dasan slammed his hand on the wood of the table between us, his face furious as he leaned forward. "That's bullshit, and you know it. The Emperor is in love with you, you stupid boy!"

"I made a vow—" I began, only to be cut off by Dasan's other palm slamming down on the tabletop beside the first. 

"—Fuck your vow, you coward! That man tried to break you, and you're fuckin' _letting_ him! You may as well have died that day. Fuck it, we should've left ya to die! Because what you're doing? It's not living. This— this day to day, keeping your head down, your heart closed, not even letting people touch you for fear of feeling it? That's not living, boy. Get your head out of your ass, find that man, and beg him to take your sorry ass. Because the gods know you don't deserve whatever forgiveness that poor man will surely grant you for the months you've spent stomping on his heart for fear of what he'll do to yours."

I wanted to scoff, to turn away, deny Dasan's words, but as always, he was... right. 

Gods, he was right. 

I was a coward. I had been letting Kile win. Since I was barely old enough to be on my own, I had been letting him control my life. 

How had I not seen it before? How had my own pain blinded me so wholly to the truth? 

Before I even knew what I was doing, I was pushing out of the kitchen, past a startled Nibley whom I almost mowed down, and then I was running full speed down the keep halls. 

Gods dammit, Dasan was right. No man would spend as much time trying to seduce someone if they only wanted to fuck them. It wasn't even probable. And despite the sane voice in my head that was screaming at me to slow down, think things through, remember the million other reasons I had turned Riece down so many times— protecting my own heart, my own sanity, my need to never feel that loss, that heartrending betrayal again, to never leave myself open and vulnerable to it. My own inadequacies when it came to being with a man like Riece. A man so far above me it was almost pathetic how I could possibly consider myself worthy of him. But I didn't. I kept running, fighting my thoughts back as well as I could until I saw him.

When I saw him, the way he looks at me, the way he reaches out to me instinctively. Then, I would let myself think things through. Because until then, the bad outweighed the good. But with him before me, the good would so far outweigh the evil I could think clearly and shove it all back. 

I ran to the library first, then Lacy's study, but no one had seen him. Lacy watched me with bemusement, but I was grateful when she said nothing about my bedraggled, frantic stance as I looked past her, as if she may be hiding him behind her skirts. 

I began to scent him as I moved nearer to his rooms, and was surprised when his scent heightened. It was still midday, and he was never in his rooms if he could help it. He hated being alone, and spent the majority of his time he was in the castle bothering one servant or noble or another. The man was insufferable.

 _Mine_ , my beast rumbled, and I shook my head. 

_I don't know yet. I can't... I can't just change so quickly. How can I trust? How can I learn to trust again?_

Had I ever known how? Truly?

It wasn't until I was halfway through the front sitting area, stomping through his chambers without even knocking, that the other scents beyond just Riece's natural musk hit my nose. The scents that almost knocked me off my feet as I stopped, my eyes glued to the closed bedchamber door. 

Man. 

Sweat. 

Arousal. 

Riece wasn't alone. 

It only took another four steps before I was able to brace myself and slam my thick boot into the door, knocking it off its hinges. Riece shouted at the sound of the breaking wood, and the man who knelt in front of him jerked and twisted around to glare at me. 

Riece leaned back on his palms on his huge bed, one of the librarian's hunched over his groin, on his knees before the Emperor. Riece's flaccid cock in the man's palm twitched as I glared at it, then up into Riece's startled, confused eyes. 

"What the fuck?" the librarian hissed, and I growled, letting just a bit of my beast show to shut him up before he could even begin to finish his complaints. 

"Out," I grumbled, my voice so deep and primal it made both men flinch. "Now."

The man was on his feet and stumbling past me, the smell of his arousal wafting by as he moved, drawing a rumbling growl to my chest. 

"Cain?" Riece whispered, his voice so quiet I barely heard it. I pricked my ears towards him, only then realizing I had partially shifted. My nails were claws, my ears were pointed and tufted with fur, and my teeth were sharp and heavy in my mouth. 

I stared into Riece's eyes, seeing nothing but confusion and concern over my actions, with not even a tinge of fear. 

_Why?_ I wanted to scream. _Why don't you fear me?_

 _Because he's_ ours, my beast answered, moving my body forward before I could hold it back. _How could he fear what is only meant to protect him and cherish him?_

I let the shift go, my claws receding, my ears shrinking, and Riece didn't even flinch. He moved to tuck his cock back into his leggings, but I growled, low and deep. 

"Don't."

The Emperor froze, his eyes wary, but his body stayed lucid, his breathing calm. 

"Undress. Now."

My words were barked orders, my tone brokering no hesitation or question. And amazingly, I got none. Riece immediately stood, his already untied breeches dropping around his feet. He stepped out of them, his eyes never leaving mine, before lifting his shirt and tunic over his head in a smooth, fluid movement. 

When he stood before me, bare but for a single stocking on his left foot, I could feel my already engorged cock begin to fill. He was beautiful— almost stunning. His hard angles, lean muscles, and sharp edges drew my eyes to various points on his body, until they fixated on his rapidly hardening prick. It was an attractive length and size, its cut head already shiny with a drop of precum as he twitched beneath my gaze. 

I finally looked up and met his eyes, trying not to let the concerned, lustful, wary look in his eyes get to me. 

He was a whore. Just as I had known before Dasan had shoved his own ideas into my head, stoking the flame of the young man in my head I'd obviously not fully squashed down after Kile's betrayal, he had pursued me not from any genuine affection, but because I had refused him. I was a shiny toy he wanted because he had been told no. 

Easily replaced, quickly forgotten.

So I may as well play his game. Get it, and him, out of my system. 

"Take your stocking off and give it to me."

Again, Riece obeyed me without question, his sock in my hands within a few seconds. I stalked toward him, and he stumbled back until he was sitting back on his bed, staring up at me with wide eyes. His chest heaved, but his eyes were dark with lust. There was only a small tremble of fear in his lips now, just the slightest musk of it weaving in his scent. 

I shoved the sock into his mouth, making his eyes widen in some emotion I could, and didn't want to, place. 

"Don't worry. If I want to use your whore mouth, you'll know. Until then, keep that in there. Is that understood?"

Riece's eyes filled with tears but they didn't fall, and he nodded. His prick never wavered, but I could see my words had struck some kind of nerve. 

_Good_ , some small, dark part of my soul whispered. _It's what he deserves for this pain in my chest._

I should have known... I _had_ known that he was only after me for sex and nothing else. But somehow, I had lost sense of reality for just a few minutes. 

And just those few moments had cost me this deep pain that I was afraid would never go away. 

I had thought Kile's betrayal would break me. But this? This irrefutable proof Riece had never really wanted me, nothing more than a night or two using my body as his plaything, was tearing something inside me that had never been touched before. 

"You want me to stop anytime, you spit that out, and you say the word 'Empire'," I said as I slowly began to unbuckle my belt and pull it out through the hoops in my trousers. "Do you understand me? That word, and that word alone will get me to stop. Not No, not Please don't, Stop. Only Empire. Nod if you understand." 

Riece nodded, his eyes finally looking away from mine and down to my busy fingers as a soft blush graced those sharp cheekbones. His hands twitched, as if he wanted to reach out and help me with my belt. But he held back, and for that I was both grateful and full of righteous fury. 

"Good boy," I said as I pushed him back and crawled over him to the bedpost. I looped my belt through the post, then yanked Riece up by his arms to tie the belt around his wrists. He pulled on the belt once as soon as I was finished tying him, to test the strength of his bondage, but when he could barely move his hands to even pull himself up for leverage, his eyes flew up to mine and I smirked. 

"I'm all for a good hate-fuck, but I'm not a rapist. Do you remember your word?" When he nodded with huge, bright eyes, I had to resist the urge to dip down and taste those lips stretched thin by the cloth in his mouth. "And do you consent?"

His nod then was so quick and heated I wondered if he had gotten dizzy with the moves. 

I stood up from the bed, putting some distance between us before I let him see the weakness I'd almost given in to. I tore my shirt off, then let my trousers fall to my ankles. I kicked off my boots and pants in one motion before kneeling back on the bed. I stroked my cock, smirking down at him as he all but salivated, watching me stroke myself as I moved towards him. 

My cock was proportionate to my body, but I'm definitely a large man. And as I fingered myself, Riece's eyes devouring me, I hardened almost painfully quickly, my uncut head slapping against my fist as I rolled the folds of skin against the sensitive tip. 

"This is all you wanted, right?" I mocked as I reached over to his bedside drawer and, surprise surprise, pulled out a bottle of bed oil. "Another notch on your bedpost? To conquer my ass? Well fine. I'll fuck you and then you can leave me the hell alone. Once I'm done with you, you can go back and find that little scholar again. You're just exchanging one man for another for now until I'm done with you."

I could feel myself wanting to cower back as the words left my lips, even as the Emperor flinched heavily and looked away in shame. Unlike the Emperor, who had every reason to feel ashamed of the way he had been treating me, my discomfort was due to my beast tearing at my soul trying to get out and comfort the one he erroneously thought of as his. 

_Mine!_ he screeched. 

Never! I roared back, shaking my head to clear it. _I will never put my heart and soul in another's hands again, especially one who can find my replacement in a matter of a half hour._

I yanked Riece's legs forward before pressing them back against his chest. If he had wanted a romantic, sensual experience, he should have chased after a far different man. Me? I had nothing to offer but ferocity and impatience. 

Dipping my fingers into the vat of oil, I stuck one calloused, harsh finger into his hole and began to slowly but firmly fuck the digit in and out of the tight, hot passage. He squirmed but made no move away from me, nor noises of complaint, so I quickly added a second, then a third finger. 

His moans grew in frequency, but I refused to look up at him. I was holding onto my control, my beast roaring to free himself, to _claim what is mine!_ But I feared if I saw Riece's face now, when my control was already so thin, I may never recover. 

And I couldn't let him see how much this was affecting me. I was barraged by not only my beast, but my own body's almost violent, visceral reaction to being so near, touching him, being about to penetrate his body with my own. Dear gods, how could I survive this, when I was already almost losing myself and I'd barely begun? 

Before I knew what was happening, Riece's legs were wrapped around my waist, his feet hooked at my ass, and my hard, dripping cock was pressed against his hole. 

And then I made that fatal mistake I'd known I shouldn't. I looked up and met his eyes...

Then lost control completely. 

It was warmth and fire and agony and triumph and total, absolute bliss. Riece's eyes shone with a light that terrified me, but that also spurred me on to thrust inside his body in one smooth, vicious move. I spared him no mercy, no time to adjust to my size, as I began to pound into him with as much strength as I dared. Even as far gone as I was, my eyes never straying from his, I knew if I used my full strength, I could, and likely would, genuinely hurt him. So I held back, but not much, and his grunts and cries burst out, muffled by the stocking that was now soaked with the saliva that dropped down his face, along with the tears from his eyes. 

" _Fuck_ ," I growled, leaning down to lick the drops from his face as I rolled my hips. I clawed at his thighs, his back, needing him closer, wanting to melt into him, and him to me. I wanted him, his soul, his body, every damn bit of him inside me. And at the same time, I wanted to crawl inside him and never come out. 

I needed him. All of him. 

More. More. More. 

_More!_

My grunts and growls mixed with his moans, sobs, and shaking gasps, until I realized another sound was drowning us both out. The bed was slamming against the wall with each of my rapid thrusts, pushed by my near violent motions. But I didn't care. Couldn't. I could only focus on trying to keep myself from shifting, with my beast so near the edge I could feel my fangs lengthen and my claws prick the Emperor's skin just a bit. Not enough to draw blood, but enough to make his back arch and his eyes clench, as if awaiting the prick of tooth and claw that would draw blood. 

My thrusts grew even more frantic, my muscles straining, my legs tensing and shaking, and I knew I was nearing my end. I leaned over, finally pulling my eyes from Riece's, and dug my face into his neck. A deep breath of his scent was the only thing I needed to push me over the edge. But as my thrusts into his body began to become erratic, lingering and shoving into him so I was as deep as possible before I unloaded my heavy balls, my mind blanked, my beast taking over for just the barest of seconds, and I sat up enough to meet his eyes again. 

To reach up, yank the stocking from his mouth, and replace it with my mouth. My tongue. The kiss becoming a monster all its own, even as my body erupted around and inside him. 

I shuddered, my legs straining as I pressed myself against Riece as hard as I could, digging my thick appendage as deep inside his body as possible as I continued to empty myself inside his warm, welcoming hole. 

And then my cock began to swell, and as my orgasm faded, terror and panic replaced it. 

Because my beast had won. Despite my control, he had found a way to claim his mate. Penile spines were growing the length of my penis, along with my prick enlarging inside Riece's hole, effectively locking me inside him. It was a natural reproductive action for felines. But wild mages only knotted their true mates. 

I sat up on my knees, all but dragging Riece with me. His eyes were wide as he cried out in pain, my movements dragging the spines on my penis against his inner walls. 

"Wait, Stop! Don't move, please!" he cried out, his hands banging against the bedpost as he fought my belt. "Fuck! What the hell is that?" 

I stared down at where we were joined, shuddering as his inner walls seemingly instinctively caressed the sensitive spines on my penis, drawing a sharp aftershock through my body and forcing another spurt of cum into his waiting channel. 

"I'm— fuck— I'm so sorry," I growled, trying to pull away gently. "Fuck, I can't... this can't be..."

"Shhhh," Riece whispered, his hands shaking against his bonds but his eyes and voice solid, soothing. "It's alright. Everything's alright. If you hold still, it will go down soon, and everything will be fine. Shh, love."


	15. Heart, Body, Soul

Riece— 

Oh gods, why had I let him... 

He had taken everything, all of me. He had demanded, and I had given. Heart, body, soul, I was his. I had known from the moment he told me not to put my prick back into my leggings that this would mean nothing to him. It was a sexual release of frustration, of anger. It would be rough and probably painful, and he would show no mercy. 

He wouldn't even let me touch him. Had tied my hands so quickly, I knew he feared my touch with as much terror as he showed towards my love for him. 

I had given in without hesitation anyways. 

And now he had shattered me completely. 

I could feel him, so deep inside me I imagined his prick was reaching up into my lungs, and I could barely move for the strange sensations inside me. My bound hands shook hard against the headboard above me as I assessed the sensations. 

As he had begun to come, his cock had swollen noticeably inside me, and then what felt like a hundred small protrusions up and down his cock had hooked inside me, pressing into my inner walls. It would have been painful if I wasn't so damn. Turned. On. 

Was he... knotting me? 

Dear gods, was he a wild mage? Some kind of feline, with penile barbs? I had seen the way he had changed when he scared away the librarian I had found to try fuck my heartbreak into submission, but I had been so overwhelmed by his intensity, his anger, his fierce and sole focus on me and my exposed cock. I had been unable to think on what I had seen. 

Now, it came rushing back as the cock inside of me continued to swell, locking Cain inside me. Marking me as his. His semen exploding inside me, filling me up with his warmth. 

Somehow the thought was enough to almost get me hard again, but I stayed still, staring up at the man panicking heavily above me. His chest heaved, the sweat dripping down his face and chest as much from his terror as from his recent physical exertions. 

I had come within minutes of him entering me, the orgasm excruciating and almost more painful than pleasurable, and I'd had to simply lie back and let him finish himself as well. Not that I hadn't enjoyed every moment of his rough, harsh handling. 

But now he stared down at me, his brows drawn, anguish in his eyes. 

_Who fucking hurt you? I wanted to scream. Why is this scaring you so much?_

"I'm so sorry," he moaned, dropping his head down onto my chest and digging his face into my skin. The movements jostled me, and I flinched as it pulled on the barbs in my ass. 

"Hey," I whispered, pressing a kiss against the top of his head. "Hey, I'm alright. Why are you upset, love? Everything's alright."

"I shouldn't have... Does it hurt?"

I almost laughed, but the hurt tone in his voice told me to answer him sincerely. "Not in the least. It's... strange, but good. Just hold still, and you'll be able to pull out soon. Shhhh, just relax, love."

He nodded against my chest, his breaths heavy against my nipple, and then reached up and, with one fluid motion, untied my hands. He pulled one down, his fingers lacing with mine, and I let the other rest on his head. I ran my fingers through his soft, curly black hair, and smiled as his breaths began to vibrate just the tiniest bit. 

_Dear gods, is he_ purring?

We lay like that for what felt like a lifetime, but was probably only a half-hour or so, his body warm and heavy, but comforting atop my own. His one hand entwined with my own, his other holding my hip up so he was securely pressed against me, my fingers trailing across his scalp, before I could feel the nubs inside me begin to retract. And then his cock was softening, and he was able to pull away without hurting me. 

I'd never seen a man get dressed so fast. 

I lay watching him as he dressed, refusing to meet my eyes, before he was in the doorway, his back so tense I almost feared damage to his spine. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered brokenly, and then he was gone and I was left with his cum drying against and inside of my ass, my own against my belly, and my heart beating irregularly in my chest. 

I stared up at the ceiling for what felt like hours, my mind running from one thought to the next, as if afraid of lingering on one for too long. Because if I held still for too long, I'd break completely. 

I thought back on all the times I had compared him to a feline, a large jungle cat, while he moved in his sparring training. Or when he glared me down across the dinner table. The way he seemed to growl when he was angry, or sulk physically when he was upset. How very primal his moves had seemed as he stepped towards me, before fucking me like I had never been before. He had pressed inside of me as if he could never get deep enough, as if wanting to crawl inside me, possess me, own every inch of me. 

And that kiss as he came... gods his entire mouth had devoured mine until I could barely tell where I ended and he began. The way he dug his face into my neck, rubbing and all but purring, scenting me, his breaths heavy, trying to pull me into his lungs. 

I only wondered how it had taken him knotting me for me to recognize the beast inside him, all but roaring to be free. 

But the way he had panicked and run? That had been pure human. And I knew now that my poor cat had been hurt in the past. Someone had broken him, and now he was _terrified_ of his own emotions. 

Of the way our bodies had fit so perfectly together. 

Without another wasted breath, I stood and dressed as quickly as I could. I flinched a bit as my ass twinged in pain at the brutal way Cain had fucked me, but it also brought just the smallest smile to my lips. If I spent the rest of my life limping because he couldn't get enough of me, couldn't get inside me deep enough, then I'd die a very sore, very happy man. 

I found him in his room in the guards' wing of the keep, the barracks, a large knapsack full of clothes on the cot by his side as he laced up his riding boots. 

He was running. Not just away from me, but away from anything that may remind him of me. From any chance he may have to see or interact with me ever again. 

I flinched as my heart stuttered, rubbing at the very physical pain with a shaking palm, but I lifted my chin and pushed stubbornly into the room. He didn't even look up as I entered, only continued lacing up his boots. I watched him for a moment, until he began on the second one. 

"Please, Cain. Please explain what's happening. Why are you... Why are you running from this. From me?"

He scoffed and shook his head, but he still refused to meet my eyes. He sat up when he finished with his boots, then stood to close the bag. 

"Someone like you could never understand."

Cain—

I could see Riece flinch out of the corner of my eyes, but I couldn't look up to meet his gaze. Because I feared what he could make me do with one look. One word, and I'd be his. 

So I had to leave, and never come back. Or this man would _break_ me. 

And I'd sworn I'd never give another that kind of power over me. 

When I'd fucked him, something inside of me had seemed to awaken. As if it had been sleeping right beside my beast, but Riece's body, beneath me, around me, had woken it screaming. And now, I could barely keep myself from tackling him down onto the bed again. 

My beast was strangely quiet, maybe because he thought he'd won. He'd claimed his mate, had knotted him, marked him as his own. 

But he was erroneously confident, for we would never see the man again, much less touch him. Claim him. Hold him. Fuck him. Own him. 

I shook my head to clear it, my beast snorting in amusement at my lack of control, and moved towards the door. 

Where Riece blocked me with both thin but leanly muscled arms outstretched to hold me back. 

"Someone like you could never understand," I growled, frustrated at being trapped, but unable to push him away for fear of touching him and never being able to let go again. 

"There's only so many hits a man can take to his ego and his heart, Cain."

Riece reached his arm out towards my bicep, as if to hold onto me to keep me there with him, and my sight flashed with red. 

All my rage, frustration, humiliation, agony, and hatred I had shoved down deep after what had happened with Kile spilled out of me as the warmth of his fingers lingered on my skin, and I lost control. 

I dropped my travel bag, grabbed Riece in a bruising grip by both biceps, and shoved him against the wall. His back slammed against it, rattling the single painting on the other end of the room, and I panted right up against his face as I held him up to glare into his eyes. 

"Someone like you could never understand!" I screamed, his skin turning white and red around my fingers digging into him, his eyes wide with pain as he met my own. I sounded like a madman, spittle flying out and hitting his face, but I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't hold back every evil I had shoved aside for more than a year, now that he had cracked me open and pried inside. 

Before I could continue to rant, to vent out everything on the Emperor, to hurt him more with my words and my harsh touch on his delicate skin, Dasan was there, then Robert, and I was being yanked back violently. My arms were held back behind me in Dasan's iron fists, and Robert was shoving me back, his palms against my chest. 

"Calm down, Cain! What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Robert hissed, pushing me back into Dasan's arms with a violent jerk before turning to the Emperor, who stared at us all with wide, horrified eyes. 

"Your Majesty, are you alright?" 

Riece opened his mouth to answer, but my rage bubbled and overflowed again, and I began fighting against Dasan's hold on me. He had my arms twisted back awkwardly, so if I fought too much, my arms would break. But my irrational mind didn't care then, and he was forced to hold onto me while I bucked in his grip. 

"Go on! Arrest me! C'mon, Your Majesty! It's your right!" I hissed as Robert came back to grab me and push me back as I rolled my body against him and Dasan, trying to escape their grips and leap at the Emperor. The man who had forced me to _feel_. To confront everything I'd been so afraid of for so long. "Tell the world too while you're at it! You finally got me! Tell them all how you made me cave and how I fucking—"

I froze, realizing I couldn't finish that sentence without admitting what he was to me. 

Wild mages only knotted their mates. 

_Gods, he's my mate, and I'd hurt him. How could I have..._

I stared at the bruises already forming on his upper arms, and it took everything in me not to spew everything I'd eaten that day onto Robert. 

My eyes were drawn up to his eyes, and the tears that spilled down his soaked cheeks. And that was finally what snapped something deep inside me as I fell quiet and still in Dasan's arms. I was limp as Riece met my eyes, heartbreak, anguish, and a strong resolution shining through the tremble in his lips. 

"Release him," he whispered, his words a sob, but somehow still radiating strength and authority. "Go, Cain. Leave. Do whatever the fuck you want. I'm done."

And then all I saw was his back, then nothing, as Dasan dropped my arms and moved around to stare into my eyes. 

I wasted no time on Dasan's recriminations. Without another word, and without meeting either man's accusing eyes, I dragged my pack up and onto my shoulder before running out the door and out of the keep. Neither man called after me, and I didn't expect them to. Not even Dasan would want anything to do with an abusive, rage-filled asshole. 

I didn't make it far. My entire being wouldn't let me leave my mate behind, my soul and beast crying out for me to go back, apologize, grovel, plead with him to take me. Make me his. Let me belong, be loved, taken care of for the first time in my godsdamned life. 

But my pride refused. My past interjected, warning me that giving Riece that kind of power over me would break me. And this time, there would be no Dasan and Nibley to pull me back from the brink. I would truly be broken. 

Despite all the reasons to leave, instinct, the powerful force that drove me and my beast, kept me near the keep for the next few hours. I shifted after hiding my pack beneath the roots of an ancient evergreen, and kept my senses locked on the keep. Until the moment Riece and his measly five guards, along with both Dasan and Nibley, made their way out of the front gates. 

I watched the procession from the shadows of the forest, scenting the air to gauge Riece's health. I growled when I saw the way his eyes were swollen and puffy. But I couldn't see if the bruises I had left on his skin were deep and angry and lingering, because he wore long sleeves to cover both arms down to his fingers. 

Those same fingers, warm and soft and soothing, that had worked magic against my scalp to calm my panicking as my barbs held us locked together for almost an hour. Those same fingers that had let me clutch them probably bruisingly with my own, not even realizing our fingers were entwined so closely until I was pulling away and had to disengage every bit of myself from him. 

I shook my head and followed the group of men closely, keeping my eyes and ears out for danger. 

It was only about a day's ride to Riece's home, but they stopped for the night just before the sun set. They had left late in the day, and only travelled for two hours or so. Usually, they might push through for at least a few hours more, but I could hear Riece insisting, and the others followed his orders without further question. 

I ignored the flurry of men setting up camp as I leapt into a tree above the camp, close enough to aid if danger arose, but far enough away that they wouldn't see or hear me. I could tell Dasan and Nibley guessed I was nearby, because they both kept glancing into the forest around them, as if seeking me out. But neither of their gazes got anywhere near where I kept watch.


	16. Midnight

Cain—

They didn't attack until almost midnight. I hadn't slept at all, every bit of my senses focused wholly on Riece's small tent. He hadn't eaten a bite of the dinner his men had prepared and brought to him, pushing it around his plate before finally setting it aside and excusing himself. He had sobbed quietly in his tent for almost an hour, although the sounds were so quiet I knew only I could hear them. Dear gods, it was a test of my willpower to hold myself still as my own eyes burned. 

I had to stay strong. For myself as much as for him. Even if I could get past the overpowering fear of betrayal, of opening myself up to another man to use and discard like so much trash, I was just that— trash. I was an Akaran peasant, turned slave, turned mercenary, turned robber, who wasn't worth the dirt on the Emperor of We'ren's boots. Just because I'd been on the right side of the law for the last year, didn't make me any better of a man. I was poor, used up, broken. He was golden sunlight to my shadowy past and broken spirit. He would find a man or woman someday who had as much pure noble in their blood as Riece, and they would be happy together. They would make each other happy. 

The thought was supposed to help me stay away from him as he sobbed himself to sleep, but it only made it harder, for it set my beast on edge that there were others near its mate. Its unprotected, unmarked mate. For neither of us had failed to notice that our scent had been completely wiped clean off our mate's skin. Not a bit of me remained. And my beast demanded that I rectify that. 

Then I had only to remember the horror and pain in Riece's eyes as I screamed in his face like a madman, bruising his delicate skin with my dirty, cruel hands, to keep myself under control and away from him. 

With that thought, the exhausting cycle repeated itself and I was back to remembering why I had to stay away. 

Once the entire camp was asleep but for River, who was left the first watch, I relaxed but didn't fall to sleep. So I was fully aware of the rustles in the brush behind me, and the footsteps of at least two dozen men moving stealthily through the forest. 

I immediately moved from one tree branch to another, my paws silent against the bark, my tail twitching as I balanced 30 feet above the men as they converged on the camp. 

I had to stop them before they reached it. 

_My mate is in danger_ , I thought, my beast growling in acquiescence. 

We dropped down directly in front of the first man, killing him before he could even cry out. And then two more were dead before the fourth screamed out his death cry, and the others were alerted. 

As were Riece's men, for I heard River cry out a warning to the camp, then the rustle of men waking and grabbing weapons. 

Just as a familiar, hated scent met my nose, and my worst nightmare glared down at me with hatred and disbelief.

"Cain?" Kile whispered in disbelief, just as ten more men moved up to back him. Many of the men I recognized, some I didn't. But the way they all watched me, none were my friends. 

Riece—

I was a pathetic mess, but I managed to keep it close to the vest, as they say, so no one could see how viciously Cain had broken my heart. Robert and Dasan were quick to report to Lhiam, who came looking for me within half an hour. He begged forgiveness for Cain's actions, and pleaded with me to let him look into the matter. 

I managed to brush him off, telling him it was my fault. I had pushed him too far, too often, and he'd understandably snapped. I told him I wasn't upset, and saw it as in no way Lhiam's or even Cain's fault. 

"My ire will not fall on your kingdom, Lhiam. Please, don't worry about that."

He seemed offended that I would think he was only thinking for his kingdom and his people and not worried about me as a friend, but there was relief there too. One of his citizens— a castle guard no less— had attacked the Emperor of the realms. It could have started a war. 

If it wasn't my fault that the man had snapped. And if I hadn't deserved every bruise his fingers left on my skin. 

I had pushed and pushed and pushed, and he'd finally broken. Just not in the way I had been hoping. I'd hoped to break through his barriers, and make him fall for me. Instead, I'd ripped through and unleashed a rage he'd kept tightly leashed before I'd poked at it. 

So I calmed Lhiam, then Dasan, who begged me not to punish Cain as soon as Lhiam was gone, then Lhiam again, with Edon at his side. Only, the second time Lhiam came to try to talk to me about what had happened, I knew I was fooling no one. Because my eyes had swollen from my stifled tears, and Edon's attentive, warm, compassionate gaze made a few stray drops fall against my will. 

"He's gone," I finally whispered, trying to end the conversation before I broke down. "And if he comes back, it won't be for my sake. Can we leave it at that? Please?"

Lhiam opened his mouth to argue, but Edon's hand on his arm silenced the larger man immediately. Then Edon was dragging Lhiam out the door, his eyes never leaving mine. 

"Cain fears so much. But he'll beat that fear soon, and he'll spend the rest of his life making this all up to you. Our kind are not capable of denying our mates. Believe me, I tried too... and it almost killed me. He's nearby, and he'll beat this soon. You'll see."

Lhiam was aghast at Edon's words, and it made me realize that Edon may know or have at least guessed what Cain is, but Lhiam wasn't aware in the least. 

Until now. 

His words may have given me hope before, but Edon hadn't seen the almost insane tint to Cain's rabid eyes as he held me up against the wall, my back throbbing from the impact and my arms on fire from his fingers and calloused hands holding me up so cruelly. He hadn't seen the way he spewed venom at me, as if I had betrayed him, reviled him, done something unspeakably cruel to him. 

When all I had done was try to love him. 

Although I tried to convince myself no one could see how deeply I hurt, I knew it was a lie. So I left as soon as I could gather my men and things together. I was followed, as usual, by two of Lhiam's men, and I barely cared to note whom he had sent to guard me as I left the keep behind for the last time. 

For I could never return to that place that held some of my happiest and most painful memories. 

I went through the day as if in a daze. My men said nothing, but I could feel their concern. And Lhiam's men kept their distance, their eyes on the forest around us rather than on me the entire day. 

When I was unable to keep going, my body sagging with exhaustion as my heart cried out for the silence and comfort of sleep, I made us camp out for the night, though we had travelled only hours. And when I was finally able to escape to sleep, I was woken to the screams of a dying man, and River's cries warning of attackers.


	17. The Cougar, the Bobcat, and the Snake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so, I upload my stories onto Wattpad too (https://www.wattpad.com/user/ShadowRibbons) and for whatever reason, idk, I was ahead by a few chapters of this story. So... here’s a few chapters at once to catch up haha. Enjoy!

Riece—

I grabbed my sword, drawing it before leaping out of my tent and into a chaos of blood, battle, and death. There were at least four bodies on the ground already, although I only recognized one as one of my guards— Tauren. The others were mercenaries, who also surrounded the camp and battled with my remaining four guards, — Luc, Stiles, Dean, and Tedd— as well as the two guards Lhiam had sent with me— Dasan and Nibley. 

The moment I left the tent, a great roar of some beast shook the trees and froze the very blood in my bones. Not in fear. Oh no, I could never fear that sound. 

In recognition. 

That was the sound of a feral monster protecting what belonged to it. 

Just as the roar cut off, a cougar jumped into the middle of the camp from the trees above, landing atop a man, snapping his neck and killing him instantly, before turning and stalking towards me. I froze, as did every man in the camp, for just a moment, as the cougar padded up to me, bumped his forehead against my thigh, rubbing his body along me, scenting me, and then turned his back on me. His body positioned as if to protect me, to tell the world _This is mine_ , his roar shook the very ground at my feet, and seemed to signal the fighting to start again. 

Cain was at least double the size of any cougar I'd ever seen before. His shoulders stood at my waist, and he was maybe 8 feet long from head to rump, over 400 pounds of lean, rippling muscles. 

He stood by my side for only a few moments before joining back in the fray. But I was forced to step in as well only a minute later. We were vastly outnumbered, and our enemies wore thick leathers and mail as armor, while most of us were barefoot and were lucky if we had kept our pants on while we slept, much less armor. Only River, left awake for first watch, was fully dressed, but he was young, inexperienced, and flagging quickly against his two attackers. 

I joined him first, cutting down the two men he fought before leaping to the next. Always, at my back, Cain followed, killing men with teeth and claws and brutal efficiency. My men gave him a wide berth, sensing he wouldn't attack them. Or knowing he wouldn't, for the display of possessive protectiveness he had shown. 

Before long, Luc, Tedd, and Stiles had fallen, maybe dead, River nursed a leg wound by my tent, where Cain had dragged him by his tunic when he fell, and Dean wasn't looking much better. Dasan and Nibley fought back-to-back, expertly, and I could tell by the fluid way they moved together, complimenting each other's moves, that this was far from their first battle together. If any of us was going to survive, it would be the two of them. 

So with only five of us left standing, Dean ready to fall over any moment, there were still at least a dozen mercenaries alive around us. They knew who we were— my flag flew above the tent my guards had been sleeping in. So they either didn't care who they were attacking, or they were specifically targeting me. 

I didn't care to find out which. 

Cain took down another man, just as he was stabbed through the back leg by the biggest man I'd ever seen in my life. Cain yelped and jumped away as I screamed out his name. He limped back, his huge yellow eyes tinged in black wide as he glared the man down, his chest heaving. He was absolutely covered in blood, from his paws that were each as large as my head, to his teeth, as sharp and long as steak knives. 

"Cain! You fucking bastard, give yourself up, and the rest go free."

I froze at the man's words, especially that he knew the cougar was Cain. I had called out his name, but the way the man said it was familiar... almost friendly. He smirked down at him, holding his hands up placatingly. 

"You heard me," the man hissed when Cain took a step back as he began to advance. The men around him stepped back as well, moving to stand beside their leader. The second he was able, Dean fell down beside River. Dasan and Nibley stared at the man who dwarfed even the two of them with something like recognition firing in their eyes. "Stop fighting, and your friends go free. We vastly outnumber you, and you'll fall soon. Give up now, and I promise—" 

The man's words were cut off as a small bobcat leapt from the trees above him, directly onto the man's back. It was almost the same color as Cain's cougar form but darker, with just a bit of dark gray mixed with the tan, and of course a bobcat's black spots and the black, pointed tufts of fur at the tips of its ears. It was about 20 pounds, so less than half the size of Cain's wild cat, and then half again, and maybe three feet long, its stubby tail twitching as it bit into the man's neck and screeched. 

Blood spurted out of the man's neck and he roared, drawing his men back into action. Cain jumped towards me, landing awkwardly before falling to the side just in front of me. 

"Cain!" I yelled, kneeling down to examine his wound. Between one blink and the next, he was no longer a cougar but a fierce-looking, blood-soaked, naked man. 

I had to fight back the overwhelming urge to cover him and growl at any who saw his nakedness. It was such a silly thing to worry about, amidst the blood and death around us, but it was near-overpowering just the same. 

"I'm so sorry," he gasped, his hand reaching up to finger a bruise I knew was forming on my cheek from a blow I'd taken earlier. "I'd give myself up, if I thought he'd keep true to his word. But he would never... he's a liar. He'd kill me, and then you. I can't—" 

"—Shh," I whispered, staring around him at the men fighting again. Dasan and Nibley now stood before both Cain and I, and it looked like Dean had finally fallen to a mercenary's blade. The little bobcat was pouncing from one man to another, injuring them enough to slow them down for Dasan and Nibley's blades. But they needed my help.  

"You're alright," I finished, drawing myself up and away from him. "Run. Now. Get to safety. Please, Cain. Run."

I pulled away, back towards the fight, but was immediately overtaken by Cain, who glared down at me as he stood on shaky legs. 

"I won't leave my mate, even unto death," he hissed angrily. 

And everything fell into place. 

His reluctant attraction. 

His inability to truly push me away. 

His possessive behavior as he fucked me. 

His protectiveness now. 

I was his mate. The mate of a wild mage. Me. I was the legendary soul mate to a cougar shifter. 

Dear gods, I should not be so happy surrounded by death and violence. 

"Cain!" the man called out mockingly, only about 12 men backing him up now. The others lay around us in bloody heaps. 

Malevolent gods, so many lives, snuffed out so quickly. For what? Greed? Revenge? What drove the man who knew Cain by sight, in either form?

"Didn't you learn your lesson, you stupid animal? Love is for the weak! This man will betray you, just as I did. Because who the fuck could love an animal?"

My rage knew no bounds as I turned, without much thought in my head but the sudden and gripping realization that this man, this _snake_ , had been the one to break Cain so viciously it had taken me months just to get a peek inside of him. And the glimpse I'd gotten was full of terror and rage, all because of this monster who stood not ten feet from me. 

Before I really knew what I was doing, the man was dead at my feet, Cain was screaming my name, then roaring his rage, and I was falling back into strong, warm arms, a blade stuck deep in my belly.


	18. Survival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just started a blog too, if ya’ll wanna take a look at that. It will have updates on what I’m writing, teasers, fun infos about the worlds in my stories. I’ve got a list of the future stories in my series’ listed out. That kind of thing. Idk just check it out if you wanna 🤷♀️ herellwrites.wordpress.com

Cain—

How could I possibly describe the agony of watching my mate leap forward, stab Kile with the speed of lightning, and then stagger back with Kile's blade in his hand, pulled from his stomach, covered in his life's blood? It was overwhelming, all-encompassing, like a nightmare come to life. 

The remaining mercenaries ran the second Kile fell, most probably only held there that long in fear of the man. The little bobcat shifter went after the men, and their screams of pain and his screeching cries could be heard echoing off the trees before fading into the darkness. 

The shifter was young, barely a cub. With his appearance in the fight, I finally understood what Kile and his men had been doing when they had stumbled on Riece's camp— hunting wild mages. 

I jumped towards Riece, managing to just barely catch him as he fell. He groaned as I gently laid him down, his head in my lap. I could hear Dasan and Nibley moving behind me, but I could focus on nothing but Riece's strong, fluttering heartbeat and his labored breaths. 

"It was him, wasn't it?" he mumbled, the words coming out on a pained breath. "He's the one... who made you doubt. Who broke your heart, so you... can't let me in."

I nodded, unable to say anything past the lump in my throat and the vice in my chest. 

"Good," he sighed out on a heavy breath. "I'm glad he's dead, then. Wish I could've... made it hurt more."

I grunted, shaking my head at his poor attempt at humor, before digging my nose into his neck and scenting him with a swipe of my cheek against his. 

"Shh love, I'm alright," he said gently, his hand coming up to brush his fingers through my hair. His eyes met mine, and he smiled dreamily. "Gods, I love you. So much."

And then his hand in my hair dropped as he fell limp in my arms. My heart stopped for what felt like an eternity of missed chances until I felt his breaths against my hair and heard his heartbeats, rapid but strong. He was a fighter. He'd survive this. 

_He has to. Or I won't._

Nibley's hand on my shoulder made me jerk and sit up, growling low in my throat at the older man. 

"Down, kitty," he bit out in annoyance. "Let's go." 

I looked back at Dasan, who held a pack out to me. "Shift," he said sternly, impatiently. "There's a change of clothes in here. Take the Emperor back to Teren, and shift and change into these as soon as you're near. If you come running up as a cougar, they'll shoot you before they even notice the Emperor on your back." 

I followed their orders mechanically, waiting semi-patiently as they strapped the Emperor securely to my back only after they had tied the small pack to his limp body. They showed me the strap they left dangling free, that I had to bite and pull on to release the Emperor so I could shift. The moment he was secure, I was on the move, running as fast as my injured leg would allow. 

I knew I wouldn't use the strap. Riece couldn't spare the time it would take me to shift, dress, and then the slow walk of my human form the last few leagues. No, I would run the entire way, my own life be damned. 

_Please, Riece. Please live. I can't... I won't live without you. Survive. Please. Please. Please._

Riece— 

I woke a few times as Cain ran, his powerful body moving sleekly through the forest, his injured leg not seeming to hinder him in the least. 

The last time I woke, we were surrounded by firelight, torches, and shouts. Then I was being carried, men's voices were rising around me, and finally, I was warm and waking in strong, hot arms, lying against a broad chest that rose and fell steadily in sleep. 

I stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes, taking in my surroundings. I guessed I was back in Teren, since we had camped closer to Lhiam's keep than my own palace, but beyond that I had no idea where I was. The room I was in was much simpler than my own usually was when I stayed with Lhiam. There was only a single side table beside the four poster bed I lay on, a chair by the door, and a painting of a field of grass with a sunset above it beside the bed. One window was small enough that I wasn't sure if it could even open, and a chest sat heavy and plain at the foot of the bed. 

I looked up, almost choking as my eyes met Cain's. His eyes had more gold in them than I'd ever seen before, the streaks prominent and almost glowing as he watched me wordlessly. I lay against his chest, both of his arms wrapped tightly around me to hold me to his body. 

"How do you feel?" he croaked, his voice scratchy and deep with pent emotion. 

"I'm..." I paused, completely unsure how to answer his question. And not really wanting to. I wanted nothing to break this moment, where I lay warm and safe and protected in his arms. "I'm alright, I think," I finished with a small smile. 

Silent as ever, Cain merely nodded and pulled me up closer to him. His nose pressed against the top of my head, and I closed my eyes as he took deep breaths of my scent. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered after a few minutes of blissful silence. I didn't answer, not wanting to push him when I sensed he had more to say. "I touched you in anger, and I never should have... It's unforgivable that I hurt you, I know that, but you should know how... how sorry I am."

My breath caught at the pain, the hesitation, the insecurity in his voice. As if he was afraid I would lash out, hit him, reject him, in retaliation. 

"I'll never be alright with a lover reacting physically to an argument," I began, shifting and flinching immediately as the movement pulled on the bandages around my stomach. I also felt a thick bandage around Cain's thigh. His naked thigh. I flushed as I pulled my hand up, away from the temptation that was his bare skin. "But I can understand how you lost control. A betrayal like that... it can haunt you, even if you think you've survived it and gotten past it."

Cain's harsh breath out told me I'd understood what he had reacted to with perfect clarity. He had been terrified to realize I was his mate, which he must have found out while we had sex somehow. 

As if hearing my thoughts, Cain whispered, "My kind... wild mages, we only knot our true mates. Our soul mates." 

I nodded in understanding, another piece of the puzzle that was Cain falling into place. I wondered if I would ever have a full picture, or if I would spend my days to old age assembling and fitting pieces together. 

I didn't know which would bring me more happiness, for both meant Cain in my life, heart, and bed. 

"Please," I said after a few more minutes of silence as I absorbed his words. "Think no more of it. It's in the past. Just know, you ever try to attack me physically again, and it's not love-play, I'll lash back. I'm not some weakling who can't hit you back, Cain."

His answer was a soft brush of lips against the back of my neck, and I considered the matter closed. 

I rubbed my hand down my chest, realizing I was also naked against Cain's nude body. My stomach hurt, but not as much as I thought it should, and I suddenly feared I'd been unconscious longer than I had originally thought. 

"How long was I out?" 

"A day or so."

"Wow. I feel... kind of amazing, for only having healed for a day."

Cain stiffened slightly behind me, and I flinched at the guilt I could almost feel wafting from him. 

"Lady Sera is a hedge witch," he explained quietly. Hedge witches used natural remedies— herbs, salves, poultices— to heal. Though it seemed as if the earth was the only magic they knew, the more powerful witches had magic in their very hands that they infused into the herbs they tended and the potions they cooked. I had met only a handful in my life, and had one working for me in my palace, but it was a rare skill. Especially because it took more than a decade's training to be considered even a novice hedge witch. And Sera couldn't be more than 20. Had she trained since she was barely a child? 

"I was the only one who knew," Cain continued, "so when I ran into the keep, I immediately called for her. Lhiam is angry at both of us, her for keeping it a secret, and me for—" 

"Don't even try to weasel out of this one, Cain," Lhiam grumbled as he moved into the room, glaring my lover down. "I'm not even mad at you for keeping her secret. It only makes you a good and loyal friend. I'm mad at you for running into my keep, getting shot twice for no good reason, before shifting in front of _dozens of witnesses_ , and acting like a crazy man while screaming for Sera. Completely godsdamned naked, I might add."

I stiffened in annoyance. I would have found the image of Cain acting frantically to save me sweet or even amusing, if I wasn't so annoyed he had let dozens of men and women see his body. 

_Mine_ , a fierce voice hissed in my mind.


	19. Funny Bone

Riece—

Both Edon and Lady Sera moved into the room behind Lhiam, smiling gently down at me. 

"How are you feeling, Your Majesty?"

I was too distracted by irritation at Cain to correct Lady Sera and ask her to call me by my name. Again. So instead, I nodded and tried to sit up. I was held back by a stubborn, firm arm and a low growl. 

"Hold still," Cain said sternly and I rolled my eyes, leaning back against him and sticking out my lips like a pouting child. 

Lady Sera pulled back the blankets and examined my bandage quickly and efficiently, then Cain's, before covering us back up and handing us each a cup of tincture each. 

"This will help with the pain, and promote healing. It tastes terrible, but drink it all anyways," she ordered, before bowing to me, smirking familiarly down at Cain, and leaving with a swish of skirts. 

"My men?" I asked Lhiam, terrified to hear the answer. I reached forward and laced my fingers with Cain's, taking comfort in his soft, heavy breaths, his strength at my back. "How did they all fare?"

 

Lhiam's face fell a little, but he stood a little straighter, his hands behind his back. A soldier at attention. 

"You lost Luc, Riece. I'm so sorry. We tried... He was dead when we got back to your camp. The rest were injured, with varying degrees of seriousness. Tedd lost some fingers, Dean may lose his left hand. Lady Sera is hopeful for his recovery, but infection has set in, and she's unsure if it's worth the risk of trying to wait and see if Dean can beat it back. Other than that, they're all healing. Your men fought well, Your Majesty. You should be proud."

My shame knew no bounds as I scoffed at Lhiam's words. If it were up to me, we likely all would have been killed in that clearing. It was only due to Cain's "secret" training sessions with them that we had survived. 

"Luc's body?" I asked quietly, Cain's hand in mine tightening. I wondered if he sensed my shame or my grief. Luc had been an old friend; he had been by my side since I was a child. 

"We sent him back to Swyer Palace, so his family could inter him. We didn't want to wait—"

"—You did the right thing," I cut in. "They'll have a family funeral, and when I return he'll be honored as a hero."

After reassuring both Lhiam and a blushing Edon, who seemed flustered that Cain held me in his arms as if I belonged there with no regard to the fact we had visitors, that I felt amazing and I was obviously healing well, Cain and I were left alone. We sat in silence, and I began to doze off, before Cain answered a question I had wondered, but hadn't yet voiced. 

"My beast didn't like the idea of you away from me," he whispered against my hair, his hand moving up to twine his fingers with mine. Then our joined hands were resting on my chest, and I knew he could feel and likely hear the way my heart pounded against his body. "He wanted you in my bed."

"Well at least one of you can stand me," I joked, unsure why he sounded so upset at the confession that I was in his bed in the guard's barracks, rather than in my suite of rooms, because he had liked the idea of me in his bed. Or, at least, his beast did. 

"I like you," he breathed so quietly I may not have heard him if I wasn't listening to every breath and sound he made with my entire body. 

"Yeah?"

"I more than like you," he mumbled, before brushing his teeth against my shoulder and making me shudder. "But there's... Riece, I..."

"It's alright," I answered, smiling at the way his entire body seemed to be moving on its own, without his input, to pull me as close as possible. To touch as much of me as he possibly could. "Let's just rest for now ok? I'll likely be here a few days, so we have plenty of time to figure things out, you and I."

He nodded against my cheek, rubbed up against my stubble with his own, a cat's affectionate gesture, before sighing. 

"Do you want to go to your suite up near Lhiam's—" he began, but I cut him off with a low hiss. 

"— No. Not even a little bit. Your beast likes me in your bed? I like being in your bed. It took me months to get here. You can pry me away when I'm good and damn ready."

Cain's chuckle carried us into a comfortable silence, until we both slept the healing sleep we needed. 

Cain— 

We were on my bed for a week before I was able to broach the answers I knew Riece deserved. If for nothing else, he deserved to know why I could never return his love. 

And why he needed to move on from his infatuation with me. 

We spent the week in each other's arms, sleeping, talking, and laughing. Riece frequently begged me not to make him laugh, for his stomach wound pulled when he did, but I found it hard not to. Not only did I love the sound of it as it echoed off the walls around me, but it was far too easy to amuse him. I had not a funny bone in my body until I met the man, and now I had a hard time not smiling and laughing like an idiot. 

Riece told me more about his growing up, his fears of not being a good enough leader for his people, and how hard it was to find anyone to trust when everyone around him had their own agendas and desires for power. He talked of his children, and for the first time I realized they were more to him than drunken mistakes that he couldn't get rid of. He loved them each, and cared for them very deeply. 

My beast was pleased that my mate cared so well for his cubs, and even his past lovers. Riece seemed ready to defend his decision to house the women in his own palace, rather than hiding them and the children away in distant castles so they were out of the way like many in his position would, and like he was expected to, but I was proud of his choice to keep his family close and care for them. He spoke of the women who had given birth to his cubs as if they were friends, almost like sisters, and it made him smile to talk about his cubs and their antics. 

He had three cubs— a boy and two girls. Jon was the eldest, and had just turned 6. Then the girl he called Gailu was 3, and the youngest, Dierdre, not yet 2. They were being raised, he told me, as siblings, rather than rivals. And while many expected Jon to be his heir, Riece expressed a desire to choose which of his children he thought fit to rule, no matter their sex or age. He would raise each as if they would be Emperor, and the honor would be placed on the one he deemed worthy and capable of bearing the great burden. 

And he made it clear it was more a burden than anything else. 

When he spoke of the children's mothers, his voice was soft and hesitant, as if afraid I would be angry at his past sexual exploits. I was far from it. I was glad he had some in his life that seemed to care for him, even just a little, and that he saw as family. A little makeshift family he had made in his fumbling search for love and validity. The way he spoke of them calmed my beast as well. For there was affection, but I could sense no lingering feelings, nor regrets. They'd had a physical relationship, a miracle had come from it, and they would be tied for life. But they were not his wives, and my beast cared little for his past, only that he was mine now. 

_Not mine_ , I growled at myself as much as my beast. _He can't be mine._

My beast ignored me, basking in the feel of our mate in our arms. 

Then finally, I was able to get out the words I knew Riece was patiently waiting for me to speak. 

"I met Kile when I was barely 15," I began, with no little hesitation and insecurity.


	20. Cain’s Story

Riece—

I stiffened the moment Cain began his sentence, and didn't relax until he was finished. As we had lain for the past week, I had my back to Cain, his arms wrapped around me, our fingers entwined at my chest and belly. Our legs were tangled, the bandages on his thigh and my stomach much thinner and less cumbersome and annoying against each other's skin now that we were both nearly healed. The only reason I hadn't been out of bed for days now was because stomach wounds were notoriously tricky, and could turn and get infected on a dime, so Lady Sera had encouraged me to stay abed as long as I needed to fully heal. 

I complained not at all. Spend days in Cain's arms, as if the rest of the world didn't exist? That would be no hardship. 

Not that we didn't have visitors. They came in twos or threes, Lhiam, Edon, Dasan, Nibley, even Robert and his little shadow stopped by to rib Cain for getting injured in the skirmish, and especially for then running through the keep naked. Lhiam seemed to have managed to keep Cain's shifting as quiet as possible, but his friends all now knew, so he took their teasing with good humor and patience. 

Lady Sera was our frequent visitor, changing bandages, forcing us to drink that _disgusting_ tincture that Cain didn't even flinch when he downed, and ensuring we got up and moved around enough to keep healthy while we healed, but not letting us push ourselves into stunting our healing. Especially Cain, who seemed determined to open his stitches. He healed much quicker than I did, but I had a sneaking suspicion Lady Sera kept him abed much longer than he needed for my sake and pleasure alone.

And he silently went along with her subterfuge to be near me, protect me while I healed. 

"You don't mourn one who died in battle," Cain growled firmly when my guards came to visit, young River's tears dripping down his face at the loss of Luc. The other men, Dean with only one hand remaining, stood behind River stoically as they nodded somberly at Cain's words. "Among warriors, you celebrate their courage in death, and the life that they lived." 

We had spent our moments awake and alone simply lying in each other's arms, testing the feel of our skin, the way Cain's body engulfed mine, how his hands held me close, as if afraid I would jump up and run at any moment. I spoke of what came to mind, Cain spoke very little, and it was the happiest time I could ever remember. 

So when Cain finally began to speak, I tried to keep my body relaxed but attentive, so he knew I was listening and would listen for as long as it took for him to get the story out. 

"I met Kile when I was barely 15," he said, his breaths tickling my ear as he took a deep breath and let it out, as if bracing himself. "I had been trained, as I said before, as a mercenary. I had just passed all the qualifications to be sold, but just as they were about to, I escaped. I lived on what I could hunt, and survived that way for months, almost a year. That's where I came across them, in the forest near the Tost Province. I think it's technically El'kahr, but the people are a little wilder. Less civilized than those in El'kahr. 

"Kile and his gang were almost... kind at first. They took me in, gave me clothes, a job in their crew, a place to belong. There was a lord who lived nearby where they liked to camp out, and he was running the nearby villages into the ground with impossible tax rates and cruelty. So Kile got it into his head to personally take on the lord, and we were heroes... for a while. They called me the Bane of Knotting, because of my part in deposing Lord Knotting. But then Kile enjoyed the power and praise a little too much, began taking what belonged to the villagers we had supposedly saved, and we soon had to run. They turned against us, rightfully so, and Kile was never the same. 

"He sought that same glory, that same rush he'd had when we were loved, and he thought money and power would get him that. So we robbed many, moving from place to place, until I didn't even know where we were anymore."

Cain paused, as if lost in his memories, and I dared to break the silence. 

"When did you fall in love with him?"

He hesitated, leaning his head back against the headboard behind him. 

"I think I loved him when I first saw him. Wild mages... we're sort of born with an innate disregard for gender preference, because our mate could be male or female and they'll be our perfect match either way. But I'd always preferred men over women, unlike most wild mages. One of my fathers used to joke that he could take an easy guess as to what sex my future mate would be."

I could almost feel Cain flinch, as if realizing he was only confusing me more by talking about my being his mate as if it was a foregone conclusion. But after a moment he continued with a firmer voice. 

"But Kile didn't share my inclinations, so I kept to myself. Until one night, about two years after they took me in, Kile got drunk and we were camped out rather than staying in a town or village. And I was just sort of his only option.

"He was never gentle. Never considerate. Looking back now, I can't even believe how stupid I was to believe he cared for me even a little, much less loved me. But I did. He began to call me into his tent at night, and for years he fucked me while pretending his men didn't know what he was doing. And I knew he was fucking women any chance he got as well, but I... It was like, if I closed my eyes, didn't let myself see it, it wasn't real.

"I told him things. Things I'd never told another living soul. About my parents, my magic, my beast. He knew about my cat, because I had shifted to fight a few times, but I told him secrets. Ways to harm or kill shifters. I thought I was protecting him. I didn't realize I was arming him. 

"Wild mage pelts are worth triple their animal counterpart— they're said to have healing or protection properties. Many warriors wear wild mage pelts as cloaks, almost like armor."

"Oh dear gods," I whispered, unable to hold back the exclamation as I realized where Cain's mistrust began. He had given everything to Kile, had opened his heart and his trust. And the man had betrayed him so cruelly, for the price of an animal pelt?

"I told him exactly how to take me down fastest," Cain hissed, anger radiating from his words. Anger at himself. At Kile. At circumstances he had no control to change now. "See, you have to—"

"— You don't have to tell me," I cut in, shaking my head as I pulled one of his hands up and opened the palm, kissing it and then nuzzling my nose into the center. 

His chuckle seemed to vibrate up my spine. "Riece, if there's one thing I know, it's that I can trust you."

"Just not with your heart," I whispered, flinching when Cain's body froze and his breath stuttered. I was terrified I had ended the conversation just as he was opening up to me. 

But he shook his head as if to clear it, and continued on as if I had said nothing. 

"Wild mages are stronger and more resilient than humans. We heal faster, yes, but it's more than that. We're damn tough. So you have to harm us to the point that we can't fight back, then make certain you kill us while we're down. The easiest way besides a poisoned blade or arrow, is to cut the femoral arteries in the legs. It usually won't kill us unless we're otherwise weakened, but it'll slow us down enough that you can finish it by slitting our throats." 

He paused, and then, "Kile underestimated how hard I would fight against him to survive."

I kept Cain's palm pressed up against my cheek as tears poured from my eyes. They were clenched shut, my lips between my teeth to make sure I stayed quiet so Cain could finish. 

_How close I came to losing him forever._

"He seduced me, acting as if he was going to put his mouth on me... and in my excitement— he never had before..." He trailed off as if embarrassed, and I wanted to laugh at his male embarrassment about blowjobs _now_ , when he was telling me the most heartbreaking story I'd ever heard. 

I vowed to spend my life with his prick in my mouth as often as he demanded. Not that _that_ would be any chore. I hadn't had the pleasure yet, but I already knew I'd love the taste of him on my tongue, pressing down my throat. 

"Have you had other lovers?" I asked when he kept quiet for a time, simply breathing and calming himself, uncertain if now was the time to ask the question. 

"Fumblings with the other boys growing up, but nothing serious. Nothing like oral or penetration."

"So he was your first in many things."

Even though my words weren't a question, Cain nodded. 

Then his story continued and I was again left speechless at the cruelty of greed. "By the time he had slit both legs, we had been fighting for a while. He was injured so badly he couldn't finish me off, and he left me there to die. I thought I would, was grateful for it, in a way. But then Dasan and Nibley found me, took me in, found me a place, and the rest, as they say, is history."

"Dasan and Nibley found you?" _Oh gods, remember to bestow goods and jewels and presents on those beautiful men for their service in keeping my mate alive for me._


	21. A Chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***** *covers eyes and blushes* *****

Cain—

I finished my story like pulling out a tooth— quickly and brutally, with no equivocation— knowing it would hurt less that way. After grunting an affirmative to Riece's question, I shook my head and dug my face into the back of his head. I was beginning to think it was where I felt safest— the scent of his soap drenched in his hair, the soft strands tickling my nose. 

"When it looked like I'd moved past the goddess of death's door, I made a vow to the gods. That I'd never be weak and vulnerable as I had again. I'd never open myself up to that kind of betrayal, that pain, again. I'd never love, or even entrust my body to another. Because nothing good could come out of it. 

"I was never tempted to break that vow. Until the day a stubborn, beautiful man jumped off his horse and kissed me without even a by-your-leave."

Riece chuckled through the tears that still poured down his cheeks and onto my hand he kept pressed to his face. Because he knew what was coming. He knew that this wasn't something I could get past. Kile had broken me, and I didn't even know how to _begin_ to fix myself. 

"You took me off-guard, Riece. That day, and every day after. And your love for me? I can _feel_ it. It's as if... I don't know how to describe it, but it's tangible. I know it's there."

Riece nodded emphatically and I laughed against his head and shook mine. 

"You make me want... gods, so many things. But biggest of all, you make me want to break my vows the most. At this point, though, it's not about wanting. I don't know if I _can_. I'm broken, Riece. That bit inside me that loved Kile died, and I don't know if I can ever get it back. I don't know if I can ever return your love, and you deserve the world. You deserve a person who loves you, and cherishes you, and protects you. Not some broken former outlaw who can't even fix his own heart to make room for you." 

"You are _not_ broken," Riece grumbled, sounding like a pouting child. He held my palm to his face as tightly as he was able, as if I might get up and run away if he but let himself slack for a moment. "You are beautiful, and you're an idiot. And you're stubborn, and mean, and an asshole most of the time, and you're damn ruthless. But you're _my mean_ , stubborn, ruthless asshole. Give this a _chance_ , Cain. I can wait for you to heal enough to love me."

He paused, shaking his head. "I'll earn your love and the trust of your heart," he continued, his entire body shaking in my arms. "With each day, each kiss, each shared breath. I'll earn you with each morning you wake in my arms, each night I fall asleep in yours. Just give us a chance. Give this a chance."

Riece—

Cain's only answer to my words was to throw off the blankets, shove me forward, and yank my legs up and around his waist so he was fitted securely against my groin. 

"Yeah?" I whispered happily, wrapping my arms up and around his neck as he stared down at me, his chest heaving and his eyes bright with want. With lust and need and a deep, burning desire. 

"...Yeah," he whispered, before taking my mouth with his in a kiss that would have sent me to my knees if I was standing. "I'll try," he finished with a sigh against my wet lips. 

"But no more tears," he murmured, licking my face until I squirmed in his grip. "I don't want to keep making you cry."

"Damn cat," I laughed when he continued licking at the drying tears on my face and neck, like a cat cleaning its kitten. I pushed his face back, and the feral gleam in his eyes had my cock twitching and plumping up readily. 

Over the last week, we had both grown hard many times while we cuddled and held each other, but there had been a silent agreement between us to ignore the damn excitable things. For a while, we were too weak and in pain to do anything about them anyways. 

Now, Cain's wicked smile was like a drug, making me stare at him stupidly as he slowly lowered his body and began making his way down to my groin. 

My hands on his head, gently pulling on his hair, forced him to stop and look up so his eyes met mine. 

"No, Cain. You've given enough, and you haven't received even half as much as you deserve. Let me show you what I'm best at."

I smirked and Cain scoffed and rolled his eyes, but allowed me to push him around and backwards until he was leaning against the headboard of the bed, his legs spread. I moved between his thighs, my eyes flitting to his hard cock, pointing almost directly at me as he began panting. 

I had barely had a few glimpses of Cain's prick when he had fucked me, so I planned to take my time exploring it now. It was big, longer than I think I'd seen, and now that I was able to reach out and stroke him, I could feel the small, round protrusions up and down the length. The ones that expanded and caught inside me as he knotted me. 

And benevolent gods be willing, would again. 

His entire body tensed as I touched him, and he looked about ready to jump out of the bed and flee. I looked up, met his eyes, and frowned at the fear I saw there. 

He almost choked out a self-deprecating laugh as he shook his head and looked away. 

"The last man who put his mouth anywhere near my prick tried to kill me," he explained in a hoarse, self-deprecating tone. Then he took a deep breath in, then out again, and his body relaxed just a bit. 

"I'd never hurt you," I whispered, and he nodded. 

"I know. My body and mind seem to not care how sure I am I can trust you. Please, I want it. I want you. Let me deal with my fears, you just do what you do best."

I chuckled and shook my head before leaning forward and gently laying a kiss on his lips. I stroked him a few times, spreading his precum up and down his length, savoring the feel of the bumps against my palm. My lips never left his, my tongue entering and exploring his open, willing mouth, tasting each breath, each little gasp, before pulling back and leaning forward, careful of my mostly healed but still tender gut. I licked a stripe up from the base to the head, chuckling as the simple move made him take a deep breath in and hold it. 

I licked the head of his cock, then rolled his balls in my palm as I suckled the velvet tip gently between my lips. 

"Wait," Cain gasped, and I pulled up immediately, cocking my head in question. "Your word. What's your word? Say it."

"I don't like the one you chose for me," I griped, my hand never stopping its slow up and down movements on his twitching, needing cock. "When I'm with you, I don't want to remember I'm the Emperor. I want to just be Riece, here with Cain."

I was surprised at his restraint as he shook his head and grabbed my moving hand to still me. "Choose one," he murmured, his eyes never leaving mine. "I need to know you'll tell me if I go too far. If my beast takes over too much. I need you to have that, to alert me and bring me back." 

"Gold," I whispered, bringing my other hand up that wasn't clutched around his prick to his face and tracing his stern, strong brows. "Like your eyes."

His tiny gasp was barely detectable, but I heard it. I felt it. He immediately dropped his hand, allowing me access back to his cock. Which I then devoured as if I was a man gasping for breath and his prick could breathe life into me. 

It didn't take long before Cain's fingers were gripping my hair, his nails digging into my scalp as he thrust up into my throat. I held onto his thigh with one arm, the other still reached below him to fondle and stroke his balls. My own spit acted as a sort of lubricant as my fingers danced along his sac. 

His body heaved below me, his thighs shaking with exertion as he hammered his entire length into my mouth and down my throat. It took all my concentration to keep myself from gagging too much, to keep my lips around my teeth, and to hold myself steady for his use. 

My own prick was hard, wet, wanting as I hummed around his length. I almost came as he growled above me, the sound animal, primal, and fucking delicious. 

Then he was gasping, his voice coming out in a tumble of syllables and broken words. "I'm... Riece, gods, I'm coming. So hard, Riece, gonna come inside your throat so fucking hard. Gonna mark you... inside. Drink it, baby. Fucking drink it."

And with those last words, his breath stuttered, his body bowed up, and he came so far inside my throat I didn't even have to swallow it down. I choked a little with how much there was, but he held my head firmly against his groin, my nose shoved into his pubic hairs. I took a deep breath, inhaled his scent, and shivered at the way he smelled right. Primal. 

_Mine._


	22. Show Me What’s Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****I hope you enjoy the following chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it ;) *blushes awkwardly* *****

Riece—

As soon as Cain's fingers went lax in my hair, his cock still hard in my mouth, I pulled away, slurping up anything that dripped from my mouth and chuckling as Cain grumbled a little at my touches against his sensitive cock. He was all but limp beneath me, and I took the time that he needed to calm, bring himself back from his orgasm, to open myself up. 

I reached over and grabbed a bottle of oil from the drawer beside his bed, wondering as I did if Cain had put it there, or if one of our well-meaning friends had planted it. 

Using copious amounts of oil— Cain was indeed generously endowed, and since he had already come once, he would likely be able to double the time he would spend fucking me— I opened myself up with one finger, then two, my body twisted around to reach my hole. When Cain began to come back to himself, his growling purr growing louder as he watched me fuck myself open, I reached forward and pulled his hand to me. I pulled his arm around me and pressed his fingers into my anus along with my own. 

Whining and panting breathlessly, the pleasure bursting up and down my spine as Cain lay still and let me use his body to pleasure myself and ready myself for him, I met Cain's eyes and smiled with every bit of teeth I could. 

"Dear gods, Cain," I whispered, bringing my lips to his and pressing them to him almost sweetly. 

"You're fucking tight," he growled, just as he thrust his fingers into me on his own, making me yelp and jerk at the sudden rough intrusion. "Gonna take my cock in this tight hole, baby?"

I whined, loving when Cain got rough. Hungry. When he spoke filthy dirty words with the animal growls that interspersed between them. 

"Yes. Please, Cain. Want it. Want you," I answered breathlessly as I began to bounce on his calloused, thick fingers. 

"Then take what you want. Show me what you need from me, baby."

I hissed as he pulled his fingers from my ass and laid back, his laughing eyes on mine. His gaze glowed darkly, and I could see his beast just there, beneath the surface. Desiring me. Claiming me. 

_Mine_ , I heard in my mind, and I didn't know if it was my own thought, or Cain's. 

"Show me what's mine," Cain growled, as if in answer to my inner question. 

I turned around, straddling Cain's thighs as I backed up onto him. I reached back and grabbed his cock, positioned it at my entrance, and slowly sat down. His penis filled me like none had before, reaching so deep inside me I grabbed my stomach, as if I might feel him pressed up inside. 

I rocked back, then forward, jerking when his hands came up to grab my hips and pull me tight to him. 

"Faster," he hissed directly into my ear; just as he began nibbling at my earlobe, his sharp teeth drawing whimpers from my throat, making little lances of pain shoot down my spine and pool in my balls. 

"Yes," I replied, moving my hands to his knees and leaning forward, giving myself leverage so I could undulate my hips with more force and speed. 

I began picking up the pace of my backwards thrusts as Cain's hands stroked down my back, pinching my hips before he reached forward. I started to cry out to warn him, but my words died in my throat as he gripped my cock and the calluses on his palm rubbing harshly against the head of my straining cock sent me over the edge. 

One touch. One tiny touch, barely even his whole hand, and I was crying out his name, my seed soaking his hand as I jerked my entire body up, my back arching as pleasure rushed through me near violently. 

He growled his anger and shoved me forward until my face was pressed up against the bunched up blankets at the bottom of the bed. His cock never left my ass as he pushed flush against me, all of his weight seemingly focused on that sensitive bit of my body he was pressed into. I bit into the blankets and moaned as Cain's hand came down painfully on my ass in a sharp slap, then his hot breath was in my ear as he curled himself around me.

"How dare you?" he growled, his beast all but speaking through his human mouth. "You come when I allow it. Out there, you're Emperor. In here, in any bed we share, any place we fuck, you're mine. You obey me, you submit to me. You disobey me and I will punish you. Understood?"

I nodded, and Cain slapped his hand down on my ass again, making me yelp and pull away a bit, my hands clawing at the blankets around me. Damn, he was strong, and those blows had to be leaving marks on my skin. 

Marks I would savor and want desperately to show off to any and all I could. I was his. Owned. Claimed. 

I belonged. With him. To him. 

I belonged. 

"Answer me in words, Riece. Do you understand?"

I trembled at the harshness of his tone, but managed to spit out, "Yes! I understand!"

"Good boy," he whispered, smoothing his hand around my stinging ass, soothing the hurt. "Now, you remember your word? Say it."

"Gold," I panted, his words near driving me mad. Though I had just come, my cock began to twitch beneath me. 

"Hands up on the bed, and don't move them." When I obeyed, my fingers clutching at the edge of the bed, my knuckles white, he huffed out in amusement and hissed, "You ready?"

"Yes!" I near screamed. Cain chuckled and began to thrust. 

He was neither gentle, nor elegant in his moves. But dear gods, he made sure I felt it. Every inch of him. Every move. Every breath. 

I felt his ownership, his possession, in every moment he was inside me. 

His teeth gnawed on my neck, my shoulder, my ears. He held me down, my back bowed forward, my chest pressed against the bed, my hands helplessly above my head, and my ass held up by his strong fingers so he could thrust himself inside me over and over and over. Until I felt I would faint from the pleasure. The pain. The intensity. 

And just as I feared I might have to fall limp, simply let him have his way with my body, he was grunting through his release, his knees digging into the blankets as he pressed inside me with all his might, as if he couldn't get in deep enough. Then I felt his penile barbs digging into my inner walls, and screamed as one poked directly against my prostate and dug in like it belonged there. 

Just as Cain grunted and hissed, "Come for me, baby," I came so hard I saw black spots, begging incoherently as my prick shot its seed out without a touch or even a breath against its sensitive skin. 

Cain— 

I was again inside of the most beautiful man I had ever met, locked in him with my barbs as my cum splashed against his inner walls. 

Something was different this time though. He shuddered and moaned beneath me after screaming out his orgasm, and I could feel his hole clenching and unclenching against me, milking my orgasm longer. Harder. More intense. 

"Right there," he moaned, his wet, sopping eyes looking back to meet mine. They were bloodshot and dripping tears, but the smile on his face almost knocked me backwards. Instead, I leaned forward and licked at the tears, wiping them from his face. "Gods, Cain. One of them is pressed right... fuck... right up against my, ah! prostate!" 

I dug myself deeper into his hole, trying to position myself better, because I knew what felt incredible now would be excruciating in 15 minutes if I was still locked inside him, but he cried out and laughed.

"Fuck!" he shouted, pushing himself back harder against me before whimpering. Whether it was pain or pleasure I knew not. Likely a mix of both. "Don't move, kitten. Just... just stay still for me, ok?"

I knew I was domineering, dominant, and demanding during sex, but now I had come and was worried I might hurt him, so my touch was gentle as I ran a hand up and down his back soothingly. 

"Can we lie down?" I asked softly, wanting to completely envelop him with my body but afraid to move. 

"Yes. Let's just move slow, yeah?"

I nodded, and pulled him up, keeping his ass flush with my groin. His little whimpers sent another spurt of come up his ass and he grunted. 

"Dear gods, kitten," he chuckled teasingly. "Any more? You done now?"

I smiled and dug my nose into his neck as I pulled us both back on our sides, his body cradled in mine, his heartbeat slowing against my own. I kept one hand cupping his softening, plump wet prick possessively, as the other pillowed his head and wrapped around to his chest, where my palm covered his left nipple. 

He winced and breathed in through his teeth a few times, but when we settled with our bodies joined, our legs entwined, my hands holding onto what was mine, he sighed contentedly and yawned. 

"Better?" I asked, and he nodded. 

"It's still right _there_ , but it's not intense so long as we don't move."

I nodded and held him close, my mouth on his neck, inhaling his scent with every breath in. 

"Hey kitten?" he said after a few moments of silence. 

I grunted in answer and he chuckled. 

"I love you. So much." He paused, and then, reaching up to entwine his fingers with mine at his chest, he finished quietly. "I'll be patient, but I just... I need you to know."

My breath caught, but I could do nothing but hold him tight and try to keep from pulling away in fear as Riece's body fell limp with sleep. 

Would I ever hear those words and not want to jump out of my own skin to escape them?


	23. Letting Yourself Feel

Cain—

It was nearly midnight when I dragged myself up from Riece's body, leaving him in a sprawled heap with a near-silent chuckle. His skin was shiny with sweat, but his breaths were deep and full, asleep before my spines had gone down. 

I couldn't even count the times I had come inside of him at that point. Even as a teenager, I had never been so ready to go again, and again, and _again_ , but Riece brought me there until I almost feared each orgasm as it built.

My stomach grumbling from lack of sustenance, I groaned as I realized the last time I had seen anyone was when Lady Sera brought our breakfast. No one had come around for lunch, or dinner. 

Or, they had, but they had heard us mating like animals and left without entering.

I would have been embarrassed if I cared to feel embarrassment, but that changed when I made my way into the small kitchen that annexed the barracks. I could feel the blush heat up my cheeks and the back of my neck as I took one foot into the room.

Almost seeming to lie in wait for me were Robert, Lhiam, and Dasan. Each looked me up and down, their emotions varied. I knew I likely looked a mess, smelling of cum and sweat, my shirt hanging down because I hadn't bothered to tie it, my breeches unlaced, my feet bare. My hair stuck up in all directions from Riece's fingers grabbing it as he screamed, and there were obvious scratch marks and love bites all up and down my neck and chest, visible for my untied shirt.

Lhiam looked amused, but hesitant, and I understood the tenuous position he was in. Not only was he friends with both me and Riece, but Riece had power over Lhiam's life. His family, his home, his very livelihood. It all rested in Riece's hands. So if things were to go wrong between Riece and I, it would be Lhiam taking the brunt of any anger on Riece's part.

I wanted to reassure him that Riece wasn't the kind of man to pettily take a broken relationship out on those around him, but I kept silent. Lhiam knew that, but there was worry there still. There had to be. It was a heady kind of power Riece held.

Surprisingly, Robert didn't seemed disgusted by my display of having obviously been fucking a man for the last 12 hours. I would think he would, since he was so adamant about his lack of attraction towards men, and his inability to understand how any man could feel that way. Instead, he watched me with curiosity and amusement, and I prepared myself for the ribbing he was sure to dole out. 

It wasn't until I met Dasan's eyes that I wanted to step back, run out of the keep, and never return. 

He watched me with amused affection, and pride.

As if I had done something worthy of that pride. I had done nothing but give in to a temptation many would have been unable to deny. 

"We're not gettin' married, Dasan," I grumbled, moving over to the cold storage and gathering the supplies for a simple late night dinner for me and Riece. 

"Maybe not," Dasan said with a chuckle as Lhiam and Robert snorted almost in unison. Then Dasan was right near me, and spoke so only I could hear. "But you're lettin' yourself _feel_."

I tried to keep myself from fumbling at the words, but I wholly failed, and with a huff of amusement, Dasan began helping me cut fresh meats, cheeses, and pull together a few grapes to complete the meal. 

As we worked, Dasan talked to Robert and Lhiam about the extra security measures they were taking around the keep since the attack on the Emperor only a few hours travel outside its walls— while still behind the Teren border. I mostly ignored the conversation, intent on getting back to my mate, but I was drawn back when their conversation turned. 

"He won't say a word," Robert lamented, his voice nasally with annoyance. "He just watches me. He only ever said a handful of words to me: 'mate,' 'mine,' that kinda thing; and now he won't say anything. He barely even shifts to human."

I turned and faced Robert, only then noticing the bobcat at the man's feet. I was shocked at my own lack of awareness of my surroundings. It seemed my mind was so filled with thoughts of Riece, and getting back to him, that I hadn't even noticed another shifter in the same room as me. 

I moved forward, Dasan, Lhiam, and Robert eyeing me almost warily. 

" _What's your name, kid?_ " I asked in Akari, wondering if the boy just didn't understand Robert asking him his name. When the bobcat met my eyes but then huffed and curled up tighter around Robert's boots, I grunted in annoyance. 

" _Do you speak El'kahrian then?_ " I asked in El'kahrian, the language of Akar's neighbor. But those words didn't even make the cat twitch his ears at me. 

"If you don't talk to us and tell us who you are, you can't stay," I hissed in annoyance, switching back to the common language of We'ren. "We'll take you from your mate."

With a furious growl, the cat jumped to his feet, his spine bowed as he hissed at me, baring his fangs, then shifted. A boy of maybe 19 stood naked, his skin deeply tanned, but not dark like mine. I could see he had Akaran blood, but there was definitely either some El'kahrian, or another lighter skinned race in his parentage. His hair was auburn-gold, and curled in messy loops around his head, falling into his eyes. His eyes were slitted like his cat's, and many different, swirling colors, neither truly matching. They were striking in a way that had me taking a deep breath as I met them with my own. 

The boy was likely older than I initially thought, because he was starved and malnourished. And absolutely tiny. I had always thought Edon was a small man, but this boy was nearly stunted. He was maybe an inch or two over five feet tall, and his rib and chest bones poked through his skin. His face would be round and cherubic if it wasn't so sharp and bony. He was probably 90 pounds soaking wet. If that. 

" _Mate!_ " he hissed in Common, baring sharp fangs as he feinted a lunge at me before holding his arms out to protect a surprised, bemused Robert. "Mine! Robert mine!"

"So you understand Common. Good. What's your name, kid? Where are you from?"

"I don't think he has one," Robert cut in, flinching when I turned my glare on him. "I sorta gave him the name Sami. He seemed to like it."

The boy shifted on his feet, looking as if he was calming a bit, but still not answering. He looked back at Robert, then to me, before he fell back from his protective, aggressive stance and shook his head as if throwing something off. 

"Sami," he said, shaking his head again and stepping back. "Sami. Like it."

I chuckled as I moved back to the tray I had gathered for me and Riece. As I left the room, I heard Sami growl and hiss out his name again. 

"Sami. Like it. Mine. My name."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***** Meet Sami :) Sami and Robert are the next book in the series. Their story is titled The Shade of the Earth and I'm currently working on it. If you'd like to know more, I've got a few things about it (including character inspiration pics) on my blog :):) *****


	24. Yours

Riece— 

I stayed in Teren for as long as I possibly could. I spent the following four days in Cain's arms, beneath him, writhing above him, screaming his name as he proved to me he was the only man who I could ever love. Now, in the future, until death took me, and beyond. 

Being with Cain was always intense. If I wasn't tied to the headboard or footboard with whatever Cain could find around the room, my mouth was bound, or my feet, my entire body. He was creative in the ways he tied me so I was helpless to his lust. He was aggressive, dominant, but never violent, and I was able to simply let go, leave my pleasure and our bodies in his hands. And that calmed me the way I never had been before. The ability to simply trust him, that he would protect me, and bring me pleasure. That I could let myself go and he would be there to catch me. It was freeing, somehow, to be bound and at his pleasure. 

And gods I had never been more satisfied. His beast rarely stayed in the background, and I had scratches, bites, and even a few bruises Cain liked to kiss and lick almost sorrowfully as we lay in each other's arms, exhausted, sated, covered in cum. He never meant to hurt me, and I had to reassure him over and over that I saw the marks as a badge of honor. A mark of his claiming. I loved feeling him long after he had left my body, long after he had fallen to sleep. 

I had to remind him many times that if I didn't like the way he handled me, I would use my safe word, and he had to be content with that. I _liked_ the way he fucked me, and he need feel no shame in his darker urges. 

We were no longer brought our meals, but Cain carried them to me at each mealtime. He braved the crowds and the jeering teasing from the men of the keep so I didn't have to. And I was grateful for that. He could keep a straight face and ignore them, whereas I would likely either blush like a virgin or join in.

We bathed a few times in a bath Cain brought in. He also heated the water up himself, and I wondered if it was a possessive thing he did— not wanting anyone to see me naked— or something else that made him set the bath up himself rather than asking aid from the servants. 

We managed to squeeze into the tub together, but it was a tight fit. Which Cain used to his advantage quite a few times. I couldn't even tell how many times I came into the then-lukewarm water as he thrust into me from below, the water sloshing out of the tub noisily as I bounced on his cock. 

On the fourth day after Cain's confession of his past and our subsequent sex-fest, I received a letter from Marta. She was the mother of my eldest child Jon, and one of my closest advisors. It told of a dispute between two of the princes to the west, and begged me to return. 

" _Their testosterone is giving me a headache, dear_ ," she wrote in her perfect, flowing script. " _Come back. Now._ "

I chuckled and stood, turning back to Cain, who had brought the letter into me with a strange look on his face. 

"We must return to Swyer, kitten," I said, leaning down for a kiss. When Cain turned his head to avert my lips, I straightened and frowned, insecurity flashing through me. "What's wrong, love?"

"You... I had thought you could stay longer."

His words had my heart picking up speed. I stood, completely naked, staring down at him like an idiot, wholly flabbergasted. 

"I... _I_ could stay longer? Kitten, you're... you're coming back home with me... Right?"

"Of course not," Cain grunted, glaring up at me and shaking his head. "Why would you ask me that?"

"You..." I paused, terrified I might start crying in front of him. I wouldn't let myself. Not again. Not this time. 

I could feel my chest tighten, and something inside it seemed to crack just a little bit as Cain shrugged and leaned back. 

"That's why I had wanted you to stay longer."

"You..." I paused again, took a deep breathe, and began again. "You would just let me go? I thought... I thought I was yours."

"And I thought you under _stood_ ," Cain growled in annoyance, standing and moving to the door. Where he began to pace back and forth, his hands running through his hair and yanking. "I'm not ready. You said you would wait!" 

Cain— 

My heart pounding, the walls closing in on me, panic taking my voice and breath, I refused to meet Riece's eyes as he froze. I could see his entire body stiffen, shudder heavily, and then he was dressing. I wanted to go to him, yank him back, rip apart the shirt he was throwing over his messy, sex-mussed hair. 

But I didn't. I held myself back and simply watched as he dressed too quickly. I was pretty sure he had put his breeches on backwards. 

"You're right," he whispered. "I'm sorry, you're right. But I do have to get back, so I'll just have to see you, ah, when next I can visit."

He turned to me, met my eyes, and smiled gently. He put his hand against the side of my face, and I nuzzled into his palm and took a deep breath of his scent. Holding it in my lungs for when I could no longer simply turn over in my sleep and take him anytime I wanted. Wake him with my cock lodged firmly inside him. 

For when I was alone again. 

The anguish and insecurity in his eyes had a ribbon of unease and pain traveling down my spine, but he hid it well with a smile and a quick peck on my lips, then my cheek. 

"I love you, Cain. I'll try to come back soon."

And then he was gone, I was alone, and his scent lingered only to torment me with what I had lost.


	25. And I Jumped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****Hello, loves. Thanks for sticking with me 😊😊 I sort of love Dasan in this chapter, so enjoy 😉 It's a little short, I know, but hey, it packs a punch... *****

Cain—

The next month that went by was both the slowest and fastest I could ever remember. I spent it trying to avoid the pitying, frustrated looks of Dasan, Nibley, and Lhiam, as well as steering far clear of Lady Sera. That woman could read me like a book, and I couldn't handle her seeing how much it was tearing me inside to be away from my mate. To not know if he was safe. Happy. Warm. Fed. Cared for. 

_He better not be cared for_ , I thought with a growl. _He's mine to_ care for, _and no other's!_

I refused to clean my sheets, or my pillows, because they still had the smell of Riece in their woven fabrics. The smell of his body, his sweat, his cum. It was fading, but I could still scent him if I concentrated. 

After a few weeks, I had to hold myself back from sending Riece a letter, demanding he return. 

_You're mine! You said you'd win me over, earn my love and trust, and now you're gone! How dare you leave me alone like this!?_

"Cain!" Dasan's voice cut through my mental haze, until I realized I was on the northern ramparts of the keep, staring towards the direction Swyer Palace. 

How long had I been there? I couldn't even remember coming up there, much less when or why. 

_Gods, what is wrong with me?_

"This is bullshit, Cain," Dasan grumbled as he moved up beside me. He grabbed my shoulder and turned me, snarling in anger, to face him. 

"What did we say, Dasan? What did we agree? Gentle, understanding, empathetic. We were not going to attack him," Nibley grumbled in annoyance from the steps up to the rampart, as if Dasan had left him behind in his hurry to get to me. 

"He's acting like an asshole. He doesn't deserve empathy or understanding."

"I am not acting like an—"

"— How many times have you snapped and growled at River in just the last week, Cain?" Nibley cut in. "That boy worships you, stayed behind to train under you rather than returning home, and you act as if he's the dirt on your boot."

I rolled my eyes and stepped back. "He's an incompetent cub and needs a firm hand or—"

"—You selfish prick," Dasan shouted, shoving me back against the bulwark wall. I hissed, baring my teeth at his touch, but knowing I could hurt the bigger, older man if I lost control. "That boy is the best archer I've ever seen. It's almost magical the way he shoots. So he's a little weak against a man who outweighs him by double— he's barely an adult! He needs time, and patience, and training!"

"None of this matters anyway," Nibley cut in, calm as usual. "This isn't the point, Dasan. Stop it. Calm down. Cain," Nibley said, turning to me as Dasan stepped back and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "For weeks now, you've been on edge. Ever since the Emperor left. You snap and growl at everyone. The other day, you yelled Edon to tears. Edon! That boy has had enough vitriol in his life, he needs no more. Especially from a man he considers his friend. I thought Lhiam was going to imprison you, and he would have if he were a lesser man. A lesser ruler. Instead, he sought us out. He's desperate, Cain, because your behavior is unacceptable."

"If you all wanted me to leave, you could have just come out and said it, Nibley." 

Even to my ears, my voice was dead. Devoid of emotion. Completely and wholly apathetic. I stared up above Nibley's shoulder to the horizon beyond Swyer Palace. 

"That is not what I said," Nibley said, dangerously softly. "You're family, Cain. You have to know that. But you can't take your frustration and pain out on everyone around you. It's not the way a family works."

"My pain? What are you even talking about?"

My heart pounded and my chest heaved. I felt as if I was on the edge of a huge chasm, and I could either jump and pray I made it to the bottom safely, or I could be a coward and pull back to safety. And misery. 

Nibley rolled his eyes, but Dasan stepped forward, grabbed both of my arms, and bellowed directly into my face. 

"You love him, you stupid boy. Go. Get. Him."

And that was it. After so many weeks. Months. Years. Of pain, fear, insecurity, uncertainty, apathy, loneliness. 

All of that, and I had thrown away the chance to get rid of it all and replace it with the kind of love most could only dream about. 

I didn't think for even one more second. I kissed Dasan's cheek, then Nibley's. 

And I jumped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****Yes, River does get a book ;)*****


	26. Chasm

Riece— 

When I left Teren behind again, I feared it was for the last time. I had told Cain I would wait. Had told him I would make him love me. Would earn his love and his trust. But the moment he had put that to the test, I had nearly broken what tenuous trust he had given me. 

And I didn't know if I was strong enough to do what I had said I would. I didn't know if I could wait for him if he continued to act the way he had when I told him I had to leave Teren, completely oblivious to the fact he had never planned to come with me when I left. 

He was so cold, apathetic, annoyed. After days of being the only one in his vision, being the center of his world, I was suddenly cast out, an outsider, unwanted and undesired. 

That had torn something inside of me I didn't know how to put back together. I wanted to be strong for him. Be the man who was able to look that apathy in the eyes and not shirk from it. 

But I didn't have the self confidence or the fortitude to face his demons. Not alone. Not without him by my side, facing them together. And he had all but left me to face that evil alone. 

To top everything off, the stories of my being rescued by a cougar who had run into the keep in Teren frantically before then turning into a dark skinned naked man were rampant. I had a few nobles, and all of my advisors, approach me for details. Each one I laughed off and blamed the rumors and superstitions of peasants for the stories. But I knew my words did nothing. There was much speculation on who the cat-man was, and it was near impossible to escape the whispers. 

I was busy from the moment my feet hit the earth in the south courtyard of Swyer Palace, for which I was beyond grateful. It kept my mind off of Cain and away from my pain. I fell exhausted into my cold bed each night, and rose before I could lie awake and stare up at the blank, empty ceiling. 

My smiles and flirtations fooled most of the people around me, save for the mothers of my children. I visited my children as often as I could, and they were ecstatic to see me. But when they ran off again to play, I was left with three sets of concerned, sincerely upset eyes that stared me down with empathy. 

It wasn't until that moment that I broke. I told them everything— all that was mine to tell, at least. I told them of Cain, my love for him. His trust issues and that he had a painful past betrayal. 

When I told them about leaving him behind for what I hoped was not the last time, they were quiet as I stared off at my children playing in the grass. We were in the south garden, just near the family suites. Since it was such a nice day, Marta, Sorcha, and Antonia, my former lovers, had accompanied the children outside with a picnic and a game of croquet in the grass. 

"Did I do wrong?" I whispered, almost afraid to speak the words and the fear aloud. "Should I have tried to... I don't know, tried to talk him into coming with me? Convinced him to take a chance with me? I had thought I had! I'd thought..."

Marta and Sorcha exchanged a look before Sorcha put her hand on my knee and squeezed it gently. Then Marta was wiping tears from my eyes I hadn't even known I was shedding. 

"You can only be patient, dear heart," Marta said gently, her husky, deep voice calming me. Her voice was what had attracted me to her when we had first met. She sounded like she just woke from a long, restful nap after sex every time she spoke. It was soothing and calming in a way that was alluring to any who heard it. 

"Someone who has been hurt like that, that betrayal and lack of trust," Sorcha murmured. "That kind of pain heals only with patience and time. Give it to him, or he may run and you might never be able to catch him."

I was grateful for my little makeshift family and their advice, but I left with no lighter a heart than I had come in with. I knew they were right. I knew I was hurting because of my own insecurities. But none of that knowledge of my own shortcomings helped me bear the weight any easier. 

It had been at least four weeks. I had tried desperately to get everything to a point that I could leave and go back to visit Cain again, but I felt as if each time I managed to put out one fire, another rose up, and I could barely breathe, much less leave Swyer for a week. 

_Or longer._

Gods, I wanted forever with Cain. Could I bear spending only a few measly days with him before having to leave him behind again? And for how long would I have to do that before I eventually broke, or he gave in? Would it be just that, him giving in to my pressuring him, not really wanting to come home with me, spend his life with me, or would he ever actually choose me?

I woke early on what I thought was the fifth week without Cain by my side, though I was hardly keeping track, dressed, and readied myself for a long day. It was a court day, and so I would spend the entire day on my throne, hearing the complaints or cases of the local townspeople, and some of the nobles I ruled over. It was grueling and exhausting, but I forced myself to do it at least once a month. It was important for my people to see me, to know I cared, that I wasn't some far-distant figure they couldn't dare look at or speak to. And I did genuinely care about their lives and troubles and pains and joys. 

It would be difficult now that I had my own hidden anguish that distracted me and made it nearly impossible to listen to anything or anyone for longer than a few minutes at a time. 

The first few hours were uneventful, a few farmers who had encroached on each other's lands, some dukes who had done the same. A sow killed by a spurned woman, a child who had been caught pickpocketing in the square— dear gods he was barely 7. I sent him directly into the arms of my old nursemaid Naria, who now worked as the palace head maid. She would have him in clean clothes, fed, and trained in some job or another to keep his small hands busy and out of trouble, and enrolled in the palace school by the end of the hour. 

It wasn't until I was beginning to lag, my stomach growling with hunger, the sun shining directly into my eyes from the western windows of the throne room, that the crowd around me began to shuffle and whisper. Then the whispers grew louder, the crowd began to almost sway, and I stared out, confused by the turmoil. 

Until I saw, at the very end of the throne room, a single, very large man pushing his way through the crowd. His hair was mussed, his clothes ill fitting, as if they weren't actually his, and his feet were bare. His shirt clung so tightly to his body, it looked as if it would rip at any moment, and his midriff was bare almost up to his navel. His pants hung above his ankles, and looked ready to rip at the seams around his ass. But the way he moved, his head high, his eyes never leaving mine, had my breath catching in my throat. He walked with pride, purpose, and completely oblivious to the crowd around him. 

I stood, but could make no further move as Cain practically stalked toward me like a predator to prey. As he neared, the crowd quieted, probably wondering why I was standing with shaking hands and frozen lungs. His eyes never left mine, and the gold streaks in them were clearer and purer than I had ever seen them. They almost shone as if they were real molten gold. 

When he finally reached me, Tedd and Stiles stepping back from their positions at my side with smiles on their faces to give us both room, Cain shocked me yet again. 

He dropped to his knees, put his right fist over his left pectoral, just above his heart, and bowed low. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered. I choked back a sob, holding myself back from falling to my own knees by his side. "For too long, I've let him win. I won't do it anymore. I won't let him take you from me too."

I sobbed, muffling the sound with both palms as tears poured down my cheeks. I shook my head, trying to convey the complete lack or need for him to apologize to me when it was him who was hurting, but he continued, much louder, projecting his voice for the crowd to hear, before I could say a word. 

"I love you, Riece. I offer you my fealty, my heart, my sword, and my fangs and my claws." I choked at the words, but I knew why he spoke them. When he had entered the room, many, if not all, of the people in attendance had guessed who he was. His dark skin would have given him away, even if the air of primal, bestial energy that resonated from him didn't. They knew who he was, parted for him because they had heard of the cougar who had saved my life. 

"Will you accept my oath as your faithful servant, and hopeful lover?"

Another sob broke from my chest, and I could do nothing for a full minute. Finally, as Cain glanced up at me with trepidation, hope, and just a bit of fear, I nodded frantically and yanked him to his feet. 

I slammed my lips to his, vaguely aware of the cheers and hoots, cat calls and yells from behind Cain. I laughed against his lips as he stiffened with discomfort. The poor man must be going through hell being the center of attention for so many people. 

"I love you," I whispered as I pulled away. He nodded, his fingers coming up to caress my lips before he dipped in for another kiss. 

"And I you, mate," he said gently, and then he was kissing me again and all was right. 

Cain— 

I had done more than jump into the chasm. I had turned my back to it, closed my eyes, spread my arms, and let myself fall backwards. 

Where Riece had caught me easily at the bottom, with a smile and a kiss and no pain. I felt nothing but exuberance and excitement. And a bit of self-consciousness— I had never had so many eyes on me. It made me uncomfortable, but I knew being by Riece's side, I had to get used to it. 

He would always be in the spotlight. And I had to be used to having some of that light touch me, even from my space in the darkness behind him. 

After the wake up call from Dasan and Nibley, I had not paused before shifting and running the entire way from Teren to Swyer. When I had arrived, I had shifted a few miles outside the palace, where I had stolen a shirt and leggings that were drying on a line outside a cabin near the edge of the woods. I swore to return it as I dressed, then walked up to the palace. 

As I got closer, making my way through the crowded city streets and up to the center where the palace lay, the eyes on me were palpable. The whispers more so. I could hear a lot of speculation, wondering if I was "the cougar," and I realized the story of me running into Teren Keep and shifting in front of dozens of witnesses had spread. My skin tone was rare enough in this part of the world that it wouldn't be difficult to figure I was the same man who had shifted from a cougar. 

On top of that, my beast was getting his mate back, so he was so near the surface I could only pray I hadn't grown furry ears and a tail. 

I didn't know how I felt about so many knowing about my beast, but I shoved that aside. It mattered not. And from the reactions of the people around me, it seemed to only excite them. I felt no animosity, and there were a few whispers that called me the Emperor's lover with reverence and joy. 

Before I knew it, I was in front of him, bearing my heart and soul for the world to see, and he was yanking me to my feet, kissing me, proclaiming his love loud enough that I knew enough people heard that his declaration would be known around the Empire within the day. 

"Marry me," he whispered for my ears alone, his eyes bright with fear of rejection. "Please. Let me make you so happy, Cain. Marry me. Be mine. Let me be yours."

"Yes," I said firmly, grabbing his hips and pulling his body flush with mine. "Fucking hell, Riece, yes."

Riece's face broke into a smile so wide I couldn't help but smile back, and then he was whipping me around so my back was to his front, his arms around me, my own still clutching his fingers at my chest. I stared out at the crowd around us as they watched and listened with bated breath. 

"My people!" Riece called, his voice echoing and full. "I'd like to introduce Cain Dasan-Nibley, my love, my soul, and your future Emperor-consort!"

I feared the cheering would bring the walls down around us. Or at least break my eardrums. Riece held me, laughing as he kissed my neck, his ecstatic joy a heady scent. I pulled him around, then yanked him away behind the throne and out of the throne room.


	27. Mate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****** *fans self* enjoy ;)

Riece—

Once we were out of the throne room, I took the lead and practically dragged Cain up to my suite. It took far too long, especially since we stopped every few feet so Cain could slam me up against the wall, press me into the stairs, or lift me onto some ledge or another and stick his tongue in my mouth. 

We kept getting caught by various passersby, so we would laugh and continue on, running from the voyeurs who had interrupted us. By the time we reached my sleeping chambers, my tunic, shirt, and breeches were undone and hung loosely on me, and Cain was shirtless with untied leggings. 

Cain had me naked within seconds before he threw me back on the bed. I bounced and laughed, pure joy shooting through me as Cain knelt on the bed before stalking towards me. The way his muscles bunched as he moved, his shoulder blades prominent in each fluid movement, made it truly look as if he were a big cat stalking prey. 

The thought sent a shiver of excitement and desire down my spine. 

"What's your word, mate?" Cain said softly, his words hardly louder than a breath as he fought to hold his beast back. He moved over me, his body caging mine in, and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of his scent. Gods, I had missed this. This feeling of calm, of letting go, of allowing Cain to take control, to dominate, make the judgements, the decisions, and just trust in him. 

With my life and my position, the way he made me feel in these moments were like a soothing balm on my soul. 

"Gold," I replied, and laughed excitedly as he pounced. 

His hands and tongue were everywhere, his teeth gently scraping against my nipples, his tongue playing with the tips until he took the whole nipple into his mouth and sucked. I cried out, arching my back as the suction shot directly to my balls and pooled there with sharp pulses with each suck of his tongue and lips. 

"Hands up, on the headboard." I obeyed immediately, grabbing the headboard and waiting for my next order. "Such a good mate for me."

I shivered at the praise, meeting Cain's eyes and smiling, trying to put everything I was feeling into the motion. 

Cain's eyes softened, shining with love and his own quiet joy. "I know, mate," he said, rubbing his hand up and down my chest. 

Then he was taking his own leggings off and using them to tie my hands to the headboard, before moving again to my nipples. He spent so long sucking and biting and twisting each one, I lost track of all sense of time and reality. By the time he pulled away, they were sore and puckered and throbbing. 

And I wanted more. I wanted everything Cain could possibly do to me. 

"Please," I whined, not really sure what I wanted, but knowing Cain would know. He would know what I needed, and help me find it too. 

"Yeah, I know, baby. You want me inside your pretty hole? You want me to stretch you and fill you and knot your sweet ass?" 

I nodded shakily, near frantic with need, jerking as he pulled away and rummaged through the drawer. He came back with a small bottle of bed oils, stopping to study me for a moment. 

"Dear gods, you're gorgeous like this. All willing and open and desperate for me." 

He moved forward, pulling on one of the legs of his pants, then both. I was loose for a moment, and had to hold back from whining about it. But then he was tying my hands again, this time leaving the two pant legs loose. He pulled back, grabbed one of my legs, and lifted it up so my knee was up by my chest, and tied the leg of the pants to my thigh. He repeated the motions, until my hands were tied to the headboard above my head, and both legs hung suspended, spread above me. 

My hole clenched and twitched in the open air, my entire body loosening as the protected, secure safety of the bonds began to calm me. 

"Look at you," Cain whispered almost reverently, his hands running down my legs to finger my dripping prick. "You love this, don't you? Being tied up, spread open for me. To be used for my pleasure, without any say in what I do to you. You love it. Tell me."

"Yes," I choked out, tears springing to my eyes. I shuddered as Cain's fingers dropped from my prick to my ass, gently pressing his finger inside me, before pulling it out, circling my hole a dozen times, dipping his fingertip in again and repeating the motions. "Yes, I love it. Makes me feel... safe. Secure. Yours."

"You _are_ mine. Say it."

"I'm yours, Cain. I love you so much. Please. I'm yours!"

" _Mine_ ," he growled, shoving two fingers into my ass without any kind of warning. I cried out, my back bowing up off the bed, as he immediately found my prostate and began stroking it with slick, oiled fingers. 

Before long, my hands shook in their bindings, and my toes clenched as I fought the urge to come. Cain hadn't given me permission, so I couldn't. But dear gods it was difficult, with his clever, wicked fingers dancing against my prostate and his eyes hot on me. And then he dove down and swallowed my cock and I felt a hot spurt of precum escape. I jerked to try to get away from his fingers and his tongue but the bindings wouldn't budge. 

"Cain! Need to... to come! Please! Please let me... let me come!"

"Not yet," he said harshly, his hot breath against my wet cock making me pant. "If you dare come, I'll tie your prick and not let you come the rest of the night while I play with your body. Do you understand? Answer me!"

"I understand!" I sobbed, my legs jerking in their bindings as he again swallowed my cock and I screamed. 

Cain— 

I knew if I kept up the sensual torture too long, Riece would have no choice but to come, so after a few minutes I pulled away and looked down at him. 

"Fuck," I breathed as I took him in. He was tied to the bedpost by hands and legs, his body open and ready for me, his skin flushed with pleasure, and his face soaked with tears. His nipples were swollen and red, looking sore and painful, and his chest heaved with heavy breaths and sobs. His legs shook, and his toes were clenched and, as I watched in wonder, his toes clenched and unclenched and then clenched again just as his cock twitched and dribbled just a small line of precum into his belly button. His head was thrown back, his eyes shut, a look of ecstasy and yet peace framing his face. 

I coated my cock liberally with oil before pressing the head against his hole. He looked down at me when he felt me, and the look in his eyes was one I would never forget. 

I couldn't even describe the emotions that passed over his face and eyes. Relief. Pure joy. Love. Animal lust. Desire. A mixture of them all, and it was overwhelming. 

"I know," I whispered, dipping down to press my lips to his tear-soaked eyes. "I feel it too."

"Cain," he whimpered tearfully, the sound turning to a drawn-out moan as I pressed myself inside him steadily, not pausing or hesitating until my balls pressed against his ass. 

"I love you, Riece," I said. Then I began to thrust inside of him with little finesse and no mercy. 

His scream made my ears ring, but I didn't hesitate. I grabbed his legs for leverage, and humped into him with as much strength as I dared without hurting him. 

"Come! Need to! Cain!" he repeated, over and over until I leaned over him and bit his lips, sucking them into my mouth and licking them gently to reduce the sting. 

"Come for me, baby," I said against his lips, never pausing in my thrusts into his body. "Show me how loud you can scream."

Riece's entire body jerked and then he was coming, his back arched, his toes pointing to the ceiling, his cock spurting once, twice, three times, twitching spasmodically as I continued to press against his prostate. 

I leaned forward, dug my face into his neck, and bit down on the soft spot between his shoulder and neck as I came inside him. My hips stuttered as I pressed myself inside him, my barbs growing, my cock swelling, trapping me inside his body. Inside where I longed to spend the rest of my life. 

With my bite, Riece whined sharply, and I smiled against his neck as his prick jerked and he came again, his hole milking my cock with his orgasmic pulses. 

When we had both calmed, I pulled myself up a bit, admiring the large bruised bite mark on his neck, and then met his eyes. They were dazed and glassy, and yet filled with love and wonder and gratitude. 

"You came without my permission," I grumbled, faking anger about the second orgasm he had reached at the feel of my bite, as I reached over and pulled his discarded tunic to me. I ripped one of ties from the tunic and held it up so Riece could see it. The excitement in his eyes was foreshadowed by lust as he whimpered and shimmied on my cock. 

"No," he moaned, and I laughed at his weak protestations as I let the tie dangle across his prick, his balls, and then back up, tickling the sensitive skin. He jerked and chuckled. 

"Tickles." 

"Not for long," I promised as I descended on him again before my cock had even deflated inside him. 

Hours later, he lay asleep in my arms, dead to the world, his wrists and thighs red with bondage burn, his cock soft and a little raw from the tight tie I'd used to bind him for nearly two hours as I fucked him, came inside him repeatedly, licked and ate his ass, his cock, his nipples, torturing him before I finally let him come inside my mouth. And when he came, gods, it was explosive. It nearly made him pass out.

I pressed my nose against his hair, taking a deep breath and smiling as he squirmed and sighed happily in his sleep, before pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. 

"Thank you for fighting for me, mate," I whispered against his skin. "I love you."

"Cain," Riece murmured. I pulled away, looking down at him and realizing he was still very much asleep. And replying in his sleep to my words. "Love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter!! Just the epilogue left, then it’s OVER :( Hopefully you’ve enjoyed this story with Cain and Riece!! <3


	28. Epilogue: His Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***** I think I mentioned the song "Lovely," by Billie Eilish and Khalid as being Cain and Riece's love song. There's another, if you wanna take a listen. "Dust to Dust" by The Civil Wars. Just if you wanna :):)
> 
> It was wonderful writing Cain and Riece's story, and I hope you all liked it as much as I liked writing it :D Lady Sera and Lacy will be back in their own book soon, joined by Galen (Geir's cousin) from my Far From Home series (a M/F/F polyamory romance). The next book though is Robert and Sami's, which I should have finished within a couple of weeks, so I can start uploading it then. 
> 
> Thanks for reading & commenting & liking my work. It seriously gives me life <3*****

Cain—

Our wedding was as ostentatious, loud, and ridiculous as Riece's flamboyant heart could ever desire. The man had been planning his royal wedding to a partner since he was a child, left alone while all the other children played together, dreaming of a future where he was able to proclaim his love for a person who was his equal in every way, and yet who was comfortable standing in the dark shadow he inevitably cast as the Emperor of a powerful realm of kingdoms. 

So I stepped back, propped my mate up, and let him throw the wedding his heart had dreamed up in his years of loneliness. It took him six months to plan which, he said, was "rushing things," but I had begged as much speed as he could muster. I wanted him tied to me by more than a bond that could be refuted as fancy as soon as possible, terrified he would someday wake up and come to his senses that he was marrying an animal who was so far beneath him it was almost comedic I had dared let myself love him. 

There were hundreds of thousands of flowers, little desserts I couldn't pronounce the names of, dignitaries from every kingdom in the realm, ambassadors and royalty from surrounding countries, and the largest cake I had ever seen in my entire life. There were garlands of gold and the darkest blue— our colors he had chosen to stand for me and him— and centerpieces made of gold crusted, glittery blue-black roses. 

When the day finally came, I rounded the corner of the aisle, Dasan on one elbow, Nibley on the other, guiding me to my future with wide, proud smiles, and my breath caught at the sight of my mate. 

Decked out in a suit of purest gold, blue satin trim shining in the firelight around him. His hair was braided back in an intricate, delicate knot, and it was tied through with black and clear diamonds and strings of gold. The golden crown dripping with diamonds and various colored jewels fit his head like a glove, my heart hammering as I saw my lover and mate as all he was. 

And dear gods, those eyes. Lined with kohl, his lashes thick and dark against his pale cheeks, they glowed and sparked with heat as I moved towards him and his eyes roamed my body with possession and all the power of an Emperor. 

Edon and Lady Sera stood on one side of Riece as my groomspeople, Lhiam and Princess Lacy to the other as Riece's. Edon and Lady Sera wore dark blue laced with gold, matching my own suit, Lhiam and Princess Lacy in gold laced with blue to match Riece. All of them fell away as I reached Riece, grabbed his hands, and didn't release them the rest of the night. 

When we had spoken our vows, me promising to honor and protect my lover, husband, and Emperor even unto death, and Riece swearing to keep me safe, loved, and cared for, Riece turned us around and we sat on the thrones that stood side by side on the raised dais of the throne room. 

There I was crowned Emperor-consort with a crown of obsidian gold, with my shaking hands never leaving Riece's lap or his warm, comforting grip. 

We were surrounded by many friends, and even more strangers, but somehow as that crown was placed on my head and I met Riece's shining eyes, everything else fell away and I felt myself smile as I brought his fists to my lips and kissed them with all the tenderness I could muster. 

During the banquet after the wedding and coronation, Riece and I were forced to sit through many well-wishers, ambassadors and nobles greeting us to gain favor. Riece laughed at me for 20 minutes when I realized the mountain of random items and brightly colored boxes that was taller than me were _presents_ and stared at the mountain dumbly. 

For the last six months, I had spent many of our scant hours together convincing Riece that I neither needed nor particularly wanted the presents he seemed to enjoy laving on me. I could understand him wanting me to have an entirely new wardrobe, as I had moved into his suite of rooms with two pairs of clothes to my name, and one guard's uniform. He needed to be seen with a man who looked the part of Emperor-consort. That, I understood. But the gold rings, necklaces, swords that were merely decorative with how heavy and unbalanced the jewels on their pommels made them, expensive purebred horses, all were things I cared not a whit for. At first I indulged him, because I thought it made him feel better about marrying a poor orphan from Akar if said orphan had shiny things to wear, but then he hired two men he called manservants to help me dress in the morning, and I had to put my foot down. 

Opening the door to our bedroom, I silently ordered the men out of our suite with a single glare and confronted my mate. 

"I am not marrying you for your wealth, Riece."

"I know that," he said stubbornly, refusing to meet my eyes. And it was then I knew I never should have allowed this to continue so long. 

"So why are you trying to buy my love?"

He glared me down, his eyes hurt as I stood and waited patiently for his reply. 

"You give me so much. Is it so wrong if I want to try to make up for all you've given up in being with me?"

"Given up?"

I was confused. I had moved and left friends behind, sure, but it wasn't as if I would never see them again. Dasan and Nibley had already become Papa and Grampa to Riece's children, and it wasn't long before they retired. It was my intention that they should retire in the luxury their kindness, loyalty, and love deserved. 

And I knew Riece would give me whatever I desired for my adopted family. 

The others could visit anytime they wanted, and I could visit them. So what did he think I had given up? 

"Your freedom, for one," he explained with a pout. "You'll never again be able to just be Cain. You'll always be Riece's husband. The Emperor's consort. That takes a lot out of you, Cain. I've had relationships in the past crumble due to the strain that pressure puts on them. So I want you to know there is good in being with me. Things I can offer you, to help lessen the burden of being with me."

With a single glare, and two hours of one orgasm after another, I forced Riece to see my way of thinking. 

"You're my _mate_ ," I growled in his ear as he sobbed and heaved beneath me, our cum drying on our skin as I held him tightly to my chest. "I need no other good to be with you. You are my good. You are my life, Riece, and no shiny things are going to make me love you more or make me happy. Only you can do that."

My friends from Teren were the only highlight of the well wishers during our wedding, and I laughed along with their small group when Robert moved up to bow to the both of us, with a little bobcat at his ankle. I knew Robert wasn't romantically or sexually interested in men, and I felt a pang of sympathy for the little cat that so obviously pined after someone who would likely never return his adoration. 

The sight made me realize all over again how lucky I had been in my mate. For only Riece could have broken through my barriers and forced my stubborn ass into admitting we were meant to be. 

In the last six months, much had changed in my life. I had, of course, moved to Swyer Palace and never looked back at my life before. While I missed my friends in Teren, they were only a day's ride away, and my new duties kept me busier than I liked. 

My mate had much to answer for in the lax way he allowed his guards to behave, but I had taken over their training the day after he declared me his fiancé, and they now stood in respect, if not a bit of fear, when I walked into a room. I had made sure they were aware things would be changing, and their days of allowing the Emperor to wander freely without protection were at an end. My life now beat beside his in his chest, and I protected him as fiercely as my beast demanded. 

Riece was reluctant about my new, stricter rules regarding his safety, but a night with his balls tied and his orgasm delayed him while I tortured his body to the edge for hours before refusing to let him spend his seed brought him around to my way of thinking, and he left the leading of his personal bodyguards, and the palace guard, to me. 

I was lenient in only one thing in my training of the guards. They were taught that when I was with my Emperor, they were to make themselves scarce and give him space. For my Emperor was loud in his ecstasy. And I could protect him from any threats that may come for him while we were alone together, my love and I. 

Another thing I considered my duty was solely standing as a deterrent for any court gossips or false friends Riece had to appease due to their station. 

The way I saw it, Riece had to suffer them, but I did not. I was outside their petty human social constructs, and made it no secret whom I detested among the nobles and gentry. I couldn't count the amount of times in just the months leading up to our wedding that I growled a noble out of the room who had snidely remarked on the way my mate dressed, loved a man, held himself, his politics, his godsdamned shoes. It seemed each of them thought it necessary for him to know all the ways they disapproved of him. 

I diabused them of that notion with barked orders and fierce, bestial growls, although it took them awhile for it to process, for some strange reason. And some kept coming back, as if sure that Riece had spoken to me of my impolite behavior. 

He never did, and they soon learned they only got a few warnings. One of his councilors was forced to retire because the damn man couldn't keep his opinions on Riece's sexual and romantic relationship to himself. After he made certain both Riece and I overheard him wondering loudly which of us fucked the other up the ass, and how much the Emperor paid me to be his whore, or if it was the other way around, and how much an Emperor's ass was worth, I was only all too happy to show the man the door with a hand on his nape, my claws digging dangerously into his spine in warning. 

For far too long, Riece's people had been used to a leader who cared more about them and being a good leader than he did about his own happiness. I was there to even the scales. My focus was on his happiness, so he could continue to lead an Empire that history would remember as the greatest, most prosperous, and most merciful. 

I was happy to stand in the dark beside his sun, and watch in awe as my Emperor shone. Ready at any moment to hold him and bear him up when his strength faltered and he needed to rest. 

Riece—

Cain's indulgence of my whims meant the world to me, and I spent six months in bliss as he turned my world upside down. For six months, I spoke with caterers, wedding planners, chefs, florists, seamstresses, and sent out invitations to anyone I could think of to bring honor to my Cain. He deserved all of the pomp and circumstance I could muster, although I know he would have been happy with a priest and a single witness, maybe two. 

But I wanted to show him that while being my partner would mean many negatives, there were positives as well. The vast wealth I had at my disposal to shower him in presents was one. The adoration of thousands was another. 

His hours of pressing one orgasm out of me after another punishingly when he finally confronted me about the barrage of presents I had been raining down on him opened my eyes to my deeply buried insecurities. Too many of my past lovers had been kept around longer than either of us wanted due to my desire to buy their happiness. 

I should have known Cain would scoff at the idea of a pretty bauble being worth more than if he could use it to take down an opponent. So after that, rather than pretty things, I left meetings early to spend more time in his arms. I made sure to hold his hand as he spoke to nobles whom he needed to earn their respect, so they knew he had my backing without question. And I told him I loved him every chance I got. 

Because that look in his eyes? The one that flickered with insecurity and yet the brightest hope each time I said it? That look kept me going some days. 

Introducing my children and their mothers to Cain was possibly the highlight before our wedding, but it started out tense and awkward. 

Unlike most in my situation would, I kept my children and their mothers close by. Each of the mothers of my children had a suite of rooms in my palace, close enough the siblings could be neighbors, and I was lucky the women were friends and had never caused me problems with petty squabbles or jealousies. The children had nannies and the women servants, and I visited as often as my duties allowed. Although in my travels back and forth to visit Cain over the past few months, I had been sorely neglecting the children. 

The eldest— little Jon— was barely six, and his mother Marta a strong, fierce woman with jet black hair and midnight eyes. The second child Abigail— Gaily we all called her— was three, and she stood behind her mother Sorcha, shyly peaking out from behind her mother's skirts. And the youngest, Dierdre, just turned two, held her mother Antonia's hand as she watched me, as if unsure if she was allowed to run up and hug me anymore. 

I held out my arms as I moved into Marta's drawing room, where we had gathered, and all three children jumped me like a pack of wild dogs. I laughed when Cain snorted as I fell onto my ass, Jon taking me by surprise with how much he'd grown since the last time I'd seen him. 

I was afraid Cain would feel insecure being in the same building as my past lovers, and had even considered sending them and my children to a castle I usually only used in the winter months if I wanted to hunt, but Cain never faltered. He met each woman's eyes before bowing and asking them to accept him as their children's stepfather. I was impressed, and I could tell all three were taken aback. They too may have been afraid of what Cain's arrival as my husband and consort would mean for them and their children, and with only a few words, my love had dispelled any anxiety each of us had been feeling. 

They each curtsied in respect, and then I introduced my children, kneeling beside them as they sobered up to meet their new stepfather, Jon straightening his shirt as if nervous of Cain's scrutiny. 

Cain knelt in front of them, my heart clenching tight and my eyes pricking at the move, and bowed his head lightly. 

"It's an honor to meet you, little prince and princesses. My name is Cain, and I love your father very much. Would it be alright if I joined your family?" 

Just like that, succinct as always, Cain won the hearts of my children and, I think, their mothers as well. Taking turns politely, Dierdre and Gaily hugged Cain, who wrapped his arms around them as if they were made of the finest china, before Jon stood before him, trying so hard to be noble and regal in his little body. He bowed stiffly, and Cain chuckled deeply before holding his arms out. The boy's shoulders drooped in relief, and he let himself fall into Cain's arms. 

We spent the night in the garden with a picnic, the children opening up to Cain quickly as he showed them how to play some game involving a ball and stick, while Marta, Sorcha, and Antonia mocked me good-naturedly for the lovestruck way I watched him. 

"All joking aside," Marta whispered to me alone when the others began to talk about what they were wearing to my wedding. "I'm glad to see you so happy. It's good to see you able to lean on a man so strong and confident in himself as to be comfortable by your side. I'm glad he didn't test your patience too much." 

I smiled and shook my head. "I'm amazed every day at his strength."

Meeting my little family turned out to only be the tip of the iceberg of Cain's perfection in fitting into my life. Within two weeks of moving into the palace, I had two guards on my ass whenever we weren't in bed. They followed me everywhere, and although Cain wore the clothes I had bought him, he was never without a dozen knives, swords, and daggers strapped to his body and a snarl on his lips. Seeing he had taken my safety onto his shoulders, I commissioned a new wardrobe— one fitting his new station, but more practical. Expensive leathers, thick cottons, and boots he could fight in. He all but ignored the fine clothes I'd given him before when the new ones came in, and I was grateful I could provide for him as I was able. 

The guards also seemed better trained in almost no time— their clothes sharper and their boots shining with polish, their swords gleaming, and they stood at attention professionally without the usual slouching boredom I usually saw. All this in two weeks, where I hadn't even noticed those things bothered me about the men I paid to keep me safe. 

And gods, the way he treated the nobles in my court who dared disrespect me? It was soon very clear that my Cain tolerated no disrespect, and was patient with none who voiced their unwanted opinion, especially of my person. My councilors could argue with me about politics until they were blue in the face— that was their job, to be another voice, another point of view for me to consider— but the moment the argument turned sour, the moment sneers hit their lips and their words turned biting and personal, Cain was there to glare and even growl them into silence. 

The noblemen and women who hung around the court, who seemed to make it their job to gossip, seek favor with me, or popularity with others with pointed jabs and snide remarks, learned quickly that Cain tolerated their antics not at all. He either outright told them to shut up, or with simple silence and arrogant disgust he made it clear what he thought about them. 

It wasn't until each snide remark, each pointed insult, was shown to me by Cain's irritation and impatience that I realized how much I had allowed due to my own lack of self-confidence. And how much he was turning my world on its head simply by his presence. 

I knew many thought I should rein him in, get him to understand that this was simply the way of the court. But I rather liked that he didn't conform to their ideas of how a consort should act, so I said not a word and sat back to watch my mate protect what was his. 

The night of our wedding, as we lay in bed after an exhausting evening and a whirlwind six months, I held Cain tightly to me and thanked any gods listening that they had bestowed him on me. Had given me a man I could never have dreamed up, in all my years of loneliness. 

And as he turned me over, his body heavy and firm atop mine, I whispered my adorations to the stars as he took again what was his and his alone. 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING! ILY!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! I try to update once a week, usually Mondays. So see you next Monday :):)


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